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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Regretdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kera
    ASL Info:    18-f-NH
    Elite Ratio:    3.67 - 116/129/29
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 831
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 469



    Description:
       not done, just posting....got any ideas, tell me. thanks


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRegretdots
    -------------------------------------------


    As I lay here dying,
    I see your face,
    shared memories,
    and hurt emotions.

    As I sit here writing,
    i see my fate,
    so gone ,
    not what I wanted.

    As I stand here waiting,
    I see death coming,
    turning the corner,
    coming at me.

    As I run away,
    I see death catch up,
    no....I dont want to die...
    its to late now.

    I am gone....




    Submitted on 2004-10-04 18:15:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this one showed a raw emotion of death. i dont know if your afraid of it or something.

    This was a good write its short and to the point and you got your massage out and thats what matters.

    Good job

    ACE
    | Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]
      yes come back and write some more, this is very delightful, and you are quite talented, keep writing, and brighten up the world for those of us who shall keep reading...Bob:)
    | Posted on 2004-10-04 00:00:00 | by poetryman | [ Reply to This ]
      Kinda...confusing. Maybe that's just me, but I would of rearranged (sp?) it a little bit, or add more detail to make more sense. Don't get me wrong and take it as I'm saying your poem sucks, because it doesn't. It just needs a few touch ups like we all need sometimes.
    | Posted on 2004-10-04 00:00:00 | by Broken_Bruised | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    26734

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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