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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Death or Loving Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: metalman_21
    ASL Info:    17/m/NE
    Elite Ratio:    2.58 - 30/42/17
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 766
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 617



    Description:
       This is a poem I wrote when I broke up w/ my Ex


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeath or Loving Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The world came clashing down,
    when you left without a word.
    You left me with nothing but scars.
    It's what I deserved./

    My mind says to kill myself,
    My hears says to persue.
    I don't know what choice to make.
    Death or Loving You./

    I'm lost without ideas.
    You stole them from my brain.
    At first I was a normal guy.
    Now i've gone insane./

    I feel so many things at once.
    It's hard to see the truth.
    I still don't know what choice to make.
    Death or Loving You...




    Submitted on 2004-10-04 22:30:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i think you did a wonderful job with this. you gave a very vivid picture of how hurt you are, which is impressive, considering how young you are. i loved it, but don't be too distraught by this, there will be so many more people to love! my advice is to live and let this girl go...
    - spelling error: "persue" should be "pursue"
    | Posted on 2004-10-05 00:00:00 | by aliciaflower04 | [ Reply to This ]
      yes very emotional...a twisted feel of love and pain.
    grips the heart and will not let you breathe
    shines a light of air only in her essence...yes

    very well done!
    thanks for sharing this piece of your broken heart.
    awsome night of reading.. wow...
    | Posted on 2004-10-05 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      A piece of you will always love her, trust me. No matter how hard they break you, and no matter how healed you become, a part of you will always remember her and love her for what she did for you before she left. So do not die, but love her instead. Persuing her will make you feel worse, because from the way you worded your piece, she doesn't ever want to come back, but you can always love her. I retain a piece of my heart for each of those who shared their lives with me, if only for a little while.

    I loved the style of the piece. It is very heartfelt, and powerful. But please do not consider dying because of it...you are young. There will be another, I promise you.
    | Posted on 2004-10-04 00:00:00 | by eener | [ Reply to This ]


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