[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: My Wife The Whoredots

    Author: Damien Vladimir
    ASL Info:    28/m/hollywood/Ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 122/89/35
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1148
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 930


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Wife The Whoredots

    The bride of mine relies as to reply
    With an emotional supply,
    which is, artificially inclined!
    Lyrical unmeaning full, expressional comply
    Denying human feeling, and a love that shouldn't die

    Why make games of this?
    Why awake a hidden masochist?
    You plan to leave, and live with him
    To gather riches, and partake in fornication,
    You're submissive,
    You're ambition for the silver spoon, a golden ticket
    An inclination to dark sins, but you'll never reach the South Pacific

    You'd of died before the reaching plan should be attained
    Never really putting in fulfillment your desire of the fame,
    The massive name of your new wedding, newer husband the insane
    So go ahead and die in gold you filthy whore,
    no more but only these dear words I have for you.

    Submitted on 2004-10-05 22:09:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You took a whole different aspect on bringing out the character in your wife. Most writers would have focused on what was done to them. But instead your focus on that was minor. I like how you focused on using her greed to better describe her to the audience, which eventually helped to set the tone of your poem. This is more than a great write, but also a very intelligent one.
    | Posted on 2004-10-05 00:00:00 | by Ensult | [ Reply to This ]
      The way you describe her (your wife) desires really outlines your reasons for posting this poem. I never really got your rhymning scheme, it seemed to be (AABAA, CCDDEFF, GHGIJ). But that does little, verry little to affect such a nice (heh) poem. You may or may not know me, but i hate dark poems, sad, depressing, angry poems and the like, but this is one of those few that really makes me reconsider my poem discriminations.
    | Posted on 2004-10-05 00:00:00 | by Max McGregor | [ Reply to This ]
      luckily I am not married I suppose but yea great writing with a lot of anger. Those are some harsh dear words.
    | Posted on 2004-10-05 00:00:00 | by AFireInside01 | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... tell me, do you really hate your wife man? anyways my thoughts on this are unexplainable.. it's sorta, harsh. but hey i got this kinda rage too! im feelin it so go ahead hate her guts out! ha ha
    | Posted on 2004-10-05 00:00:00 | by blonde_honey418 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]