Description:
Inspired by a lonely bird singing on top of a street light. I was walking home and heard it(than saw it of course) I just found it an interesting thing to think about
Quickly written. I need help on it. Please be honest! It has meaning, but none I am currently relating too, words may be ordinary. HELP!!!
This was very well written. Improvement of your writing shows great here. Anywho, I think you did well, can't really tell you what to improve here, because I didn't see anything. You did well with your sense of emotion not letting it get out of control, and you contained the image of the song bird. This is truly perfect. Julian
Very well written poem. It is a happy poem. While slightly sad. One thing I dont understand. If you were the worm I am sure the song bird would not exactly want to share melodies with you. I know you didnt mean it like that. Just a thought. I look forward to reading more of your writing.
hm. what else is like a song bird... a heart in love? ...maybe... Oh, A creative mind! if you wish, you could say how the bird is like a creative mind, filling the world with the song of where it has been. heh...it's a thought... personally, i like it just how it is. but if you want to change it... good job!
I loved this one, I felt peace while reading it, I also felt as if I'm in the woods and I'm listining to the whispers of those birds trying to understand what are they talking about! It reminded me with "Kenny G" and his piece "Song bird", it's my favorite, Good job, Keep it up.
i actually didnt think it was bad at all. it seemed rushed, but it brought out what seemed to be your true thoughts, which is hard to come by. I love your choice of writting about the songbird, just that alone shows how you like to view the world, and tells a whole lot about who you are. I love people who can look beyond the obvious, and look at things in a different and uncommon way. i think if you give it time, and dont be totally happy with it, it may change to your liking, but dont let people give you ignorant ideas one what would make it better. you seem to know how to write an amazing poem, it will just come
Submission Name: Songbird
