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The Battle


Author: selfbetrayal
ASL Info:    19/F/NA
Elite Ratio:    8 - 212 /76 /10
Words: 333
Class/Type: Poetry /Being a Teen
Total Views: 1378
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 2038



Description:


A religious poem I wrote recently...tell me what you think...


The Battle



Fights and battles, battles and fights,
Absolute terror throughout the night.
Watching my life, wither away,
Breaking, piece by piece, day by day.
From the darkness the demons come,
Not all at once, but one by one.
Lacking the wisdom that God supplies,
They lure me in with all their lies.
Just like a boxing match I fight each round,
As the bell dings with its echoing sound.
First comes temptation, it’s coming to deceive,
He disguises himself, so I fail to see.
He brings me in, with all his lies and his traps,
And almost defeats me when something just snaps.
The demon gets terrified as he looks up,
And sees Jesus standing there, filling my cup.
Temptation is defeated, and I’m free at last,
All of a sudden, another demon is cast!
Here comes pain, with heartaches and sorrows,
Making me feel, there’s no tomorrow.
My friends all leave me and say they don’t care,
They spread rumours and pretend I’m not there.
In my times of loneliness, God was all I had,
So I reached out to Him, when everything was bad.
The demon realised he'd failed once again,
For I turned to Jesus, and not to him.
There’s one thing I learned through all these rounds,
That’s to turn to the One who wears the crown.
I turn to God and I don’t sit and pout,
And everything seems to work itself out.
The demons are amazed at how much I’ve grown,
And leave me alone, for as far as I know.
I turn around and I look at the field,
Holding nothing but my sword and shield.
The battle was brutal, with things everywhere,
Yet I made it through, though it was hard to bear.
I turn to the Father in the heavens above,
As he looks down on me with eyes full of sweet love.
It may have been brutal, and hard to the end,
But thanks to the battle, I found a best friend.




Submitted on 2004-10-07 06:30:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I do believe I have fallen in love with your poetry my friend.


Sage
| Posted on 2007-01-24 00:00:00 | by sageeriol | [ Reply to This ]
  This sort of reminds me of Job in the bible. How he was tempted and tortured but never lost his faith in God
There are a couple of points that seem to edge toward revelations in the bible and made me think of the last battle. I also see a little of Joan Of Arc in this too. I think it is becaue of the way you have given vision to your write that I see this.

Now faith is a hard thing to hold on to and for someone so young I find that you have a strong faith in your beliefs.

As far as friends who make up rumors well I guess that wouldn't classify them as friends.

So stay true to your faith and values and live one day at a time. LIfe is like the Two step.
Two steps forward and one step back.

Nicley done

Reapect and Admiration

Clyde
| Posted on 2006-06-07 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
  Nice. I would have liked to see a bit more form though. It just organises things better and adds both rhythm and enhances meaning if correctly used. Still a good work and I appreciate the sentiments.
| Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a nice poem about battling demons (inner or outer :)) through God :) I liked the structure that you used and it seemed to flow pretty well :) Sometimes in life it's hard to tell who your real friends are and it's nice to know you always have at least one :)

keep writing

Stw
| Posted on 2005-04-22 00:00:00 | by Stwcjj | [ Reply to This ]
  Good rhythm, pattern and what-not.
For these two lines -
"Making me feel, there’s no tomorrow."
"The demon realised he'd failed once again,"
I think it'd be better if they weren't abbreviated, as that'd make it continue with the rhyme scheme.
Right now, as I read it, it doesn't go with the rhyme scheme.
Nice, long, with good rhyme, rhythm, as I said.
It's brilliant.
Discounting, of course, the actual content.
Since I'm not Christian, or religious in any way (unless you count agnostics as religious..), I can't really relate. But in the purest sense, brilliant structure and well written.
| Posted on 2005-02-24 00:00:00 | by runedot | [ Reply to This ]
  I think that it's a really good way to use your poetry, although I m not religious myself, it has a good meaning and if thats what you like then keep up the good work.
| Posted on 2004-10-07 00:00:00 | by lost and alone | [ Reply to This ]
  i was going to say what Ensult and poetryman said.. so i guess im going to repeat it! it's great that you're closer to god, to religion, unlike me i stay on the outside, i don't really have a religion. but i do respect others beliefs, and this is a nice spiritual poem. nice write
| Posted on 2004-10-07 00:00:00 | by nameless child | [ Reply to This ]
  I respect any religious poem. I respect how you found yourself in a closer relationship with god because of your hardships and triumphs. Great Write.
| Posted on 2004-10-07 00:00:00 | by Ensult | [ Reply to This ]
  A great tribute to your spiritual belief, this is a remarkable piece and you are quite talented, I especially loved the constant reminder that life is a daily battle with its temptations and so called friends who stab in the back or walk away when times get rough, can't wait to read more of you...Bob:)
| Posted on 2004-10-07 00:00:00 | by poetryman | [ Reply to This ]


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