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Child inside?

Author: winged_writer_robyn
ASL Info:    16/f/wa
Elite Ratio:    3.36 - 116 /162 /44
Words: 135
Class/Type: Poetry /Venting
Total Views: 1107
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 854


I have no idea why or how I wrote this... It's odd becasue "I feel like I have burried my past underneith layers of lies. A mask seems to cover how I feel inside. I haven't been honest with myself, nor I have i been honest with anyone else. I'm not who they see. i'm a child waiting to break free."- "untitled" work in progess by robyn johnson (that's me) please tell me what you think

Child inside?

I close my eyes
I sit in the darkness
but the lights are still on
I vision the child
of long ago
innocent and free
ready to come out and see
the world
why did I keep her hidden
deep within
for so long?
why did I burry her
beneith the surfice
of my heart?
Why did I leave myself alone
in the dark?

So many times
I've heard the child
crying herself to sleep
praying each night
to be released
from the cage
I've kept her in
deep within my heart
the sound of the tears
seem to break me apart
yet I refuse to give in
She fights to stay strong
while I sit here in the dark
trying to carry on
without the little child within....

Submitted on 2004-10-07 17:21:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  i like this one. and your title drew me to read it. more often than not, we neglect the child in us, weighed down by the conventional demands of adulthood. and the questions you ask, i feel the answers can only be sought and found by ourselves. i feel everyday is a constant fight, running away from the angels and monsters of life. i hope one day you can be in touch w tt child in u again.

| Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by wilted_ | [ Reply to This ]
  Well, the outline is good, it atracted me till the end of the poem, it feels sad yet sweet, I can't explain it. About the poem itself, I think you need to revise it beacause I noticed some spelling mistakes, and although I might not be an expert but I think the rhyme is distorted, it just didn't feel smooth to me.
| Posted on 2004-10-07 00:00:00 | by Beast | [ Reply to This ]

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