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    dots Submission Name: Child inside?dots

    Author: winged_writer_robyn
    ASL Info:    16/f/wa
    Elite Ratio:    3.36 - 116/162/44
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 921
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 854

       I have no idea why or how I wrote this... It's odd becasue "I feel like I have burried my past underneith layers of lies. A mask seems to cover how I feel inside. I haven't been honest with myself, nor I have i been honest with anyone else. I'm not who they see. i'm a child waiting to break free."- "untitled" work in progess by robyn johnson (that's me) please tell me what you think

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsChild inside?dots

    I close my eyes
    I sit in the darkness
    but the lights are still on
    I vision the child
    of long ago
    innocent and free
    ready to come out and see
    the world
    why did I keep her hidden
    deep within
    for so long?
    why did I burry her
    beneith the surfice
    of my heart?
    Why did I leave myself alone
    in the dark?

    So many times
    I've heard the child
    crying herself to sleep
    praying each night
    to be released
    from the cage
    I've kept her in
    deep within my heart
    the sound of the tears
    seem to break me apart
    yet I refuse to give in
    She fights to stay strong
    while I sit here in the dark
    trying to carry on
    without the little child within....

    Submitted on 2004-10-07 17:21:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i like this one. and your title drew me to read it. more often than not, we neglect the child in us, weighed down by the conventional demands of adulthood. and the questions you ask, i feel the answers can only be sought and found by ourselves. i feel everyday is a constant fight, running away from the angels and monsters of life. i hope one day you can be in touch w tt child in u again.

    | Posted on 2005-04-05 00:00:00 | by wilted_ | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, the outline is good, it atracted me till the end of the poem, it feels sad yet sweet, I can't explain it. About the poem itself, I think you need to revise it beacause I noticed some spelling mistakes, and although I might not be an expert but I think the rhyme is distorted, it just didn't feel smooth to me.
    | Posted on 2004-10-07 00:00:00 | by Beast | [ Reply to This ]

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