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You Can’t Lose What You Never Had


Author: Yousef
ASL Info:    26/M/Egypt
Elite Ratio:    8 - 468 /203 /22
Words: 465
Class/Type: Poetry /Passion
Total Views: 1989
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 2097



Description:


I don’t know why do I feel so sad? Even though I know, that I can’t lose what I never had...


You Can’t Lose What You Never Had



The wise man said, find someone you can’t live without
I thought this one was you, but now I’ve my doubts
You were like a dream; I hoped I could make it real
Your love was taking over me, and it was too strong to conceal
You were looking for someone to love you a love that’s true
But you never noticed me, even though I was right in front of you
I don’t know how didn’t you realize that you are more than a woman to me?
You are my reason for living, and you are the only one who can set me free
I’ve tried to tell you so many times
But you just kept ignoring me and ignoring my signs
You left me and went to someone else at the time I thought I made with you some progress
This made me lose my faith in you, and made me feel so worthless
But there is one thing I know for sure
That you are my disease and you’re my cure
I wanted to hold you in my arms and never let go
I wanted to tell the whole world that I love you, I wanted everyone to know
I wanted to comfort you whenever you are scared
I wanted to open my eyes everyday to see you standing there
I know that tomorrow is always a new day
But a new day without you is not worth living anyway
Believe me when I say, it’s just getting harder not to think of you
And I’ve never wanted someone more as much as I want you
When I look in to your beautiful eyes I feel so defenseless
When I see your face your lovely smile makes me feel so helpless
All you had to do was calling
And I’d have left everything and come to you crawling
But you can run to me whenever you are lonely, you can run to me when you need a shoulder to cry on
You can come to me whenever you want and start with me a new dawn
I don’t know why do I feel so sad?
Even though I know, that I can’t lose what I never had

Yousef Hani





Submitted on 2004-10-07 18:37:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I'm sorry guy that was it. I'll tell how far I got before I knew where this one was heading.

The wise man said, find someone you can’t live without
I thought this one was you, but now I’ve my doubts
You were like a dream; I hoped I could make it real
Your love was taking over me, and it was


-Not very far. Sorry friend. When you write something thats not about a love or past love in your life I will stop and take the time to read it, until then, farewell. -sin
| Posted on 2005-04-04 00:00:00 | by sinmore | [ Reply to This ]
  The poem would have been easier to read if you had arranged it in stanzas. I think you should take your time and rewrite lines four to eleven. They are good but you could make them perfect.

'You are my disease and my cure' to me does not give the message you are looking for.

From line sixteen onwards the poem becomes alive and I sense the words flowing from deep within the writer and making the work a master piece. Baafuo
| Posted on 2005-03-09 00:00:00 | by Nightrider | [ Reply to This ]
  Well, althought the outline is a little traditional but the way you put was interesting, your choice of words is good and the rhyme is ok, but you need to revise because there some things that should be changed -or at least that is what I think anyway-, (more than a woman to me) I think you should consider removing (woman) since it makes the line sounds so lame...(All you had to do was calling) this is utterly wrong, you forced using the past continues tense to match the rhyme. Bottom line is don't try so hard, don't force the rhyme it makes the poem sounds so lame. Good work though.
| Posted on 2004-10-07 00:00:00 | by Beast | [ Reply to This ]
  Hi, I really liked this poem becasue I know i've felt this before, and I haven't felt this for awhile.. but it really brought me back to that feeling, so you did a good job. The one line I didn't really like was -
You left me and went to someone else at the time I thought I made with you some progress
just seemed like you were trying too hard to make it rhyme with worthless.. was just a little forced, thats all. But the rest was great
All I can say is, if this person doesn't feel the same way for you, and then it's just infatuation, and you're not meant to be. Dont worry about it, you'll definitely find someone EVEN BETTER!! Which probly seems impossible.. but dont worry, they'll be the perfect one for yoU! So dont fret
| Posted on 2004-10-07 00:00:00 | by Lova_Star | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey this is a very wonderfully crafted piece, that fervently captures the heartache of a soul who is entangled in love that he feels, but is not felt by the significant other.You have done a remarkable job of painting the scene for us..As the narrator is heavily engrossed in the sweet feelings, while the other is not receiving him in the same light...I loved your beautiful imagery, though the piece is sad..You have done an excellent job in articulating the emotions involved..This is a well written piece that confronts an unpleasent encounter of an unfortunate soul...Its a very moving piece...Hope you found solace and healing when you penned this one down...A great and very moving write..Be happy!Nobantu
| Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by Nobantu | [ Reply to This ]


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