[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A Guitar Plays a Mandots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 46
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 863
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 299

       I'm still in a slump. Here's an old one that I never got around to posting. I'm not keen on this one either.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Guitar Plays a Mandots

    The guitar looked more alive than he.
    His weak, barely vertical posture and emotionless face
    made you wonder if the instrument was the master of the man,
    but the sound produced,
    sweeter than blackberries,
    made it clear that one of them possessed a beautiful soul.

    Submitted on 2004-10-08 05:13:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      a man with a face so average that you would never remember him when you walked across him somewhere on the street but you remember him cause he plays guitar in an unbelievable way. what inspired this?? was there somebody??
    anyway the title is interesting, made me want to read it. and you described the whole scene very well. I don't know why you're not so keen on it. I like it very much.
    | Posted on 2004-10-14 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this a lot. I can be as worked up as anything and it will disappear as soon as I pick up my guitar. I also find it soothed the minds of so called 'mad' people where I went to play as a volunteer for a while so I wondered about that for some time... Maybe I'm slightly mad hey?! Loved it though - dunno why you're not keen on it.
    | Posted on 2004-10-08 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminds me of one of my ex boyfriends. He used to bring his guitar to high school and sit in the hallway during lunch. He would play it (the only guy who ever did anything like it at our school) and would teach anyone who asked him how a song was played. He always sat there playing, eyes staring off at some designated spot while the music played...always seeming to entrance me. Then I found out I entranced him as well, and we hooked up. Then he moved away and we stopped communicating despite promises, and I haven't talked to him in over a year. ...sigh...

    Anyway, sorry to run off like that. This piece is really cool, and so very true, as I have found. Good piece. Rock on!
    | Posted on 2004-10-08 00:00:00 | by eener | [ Reply to This ]
      The poem has soul too. I like this idea. Don't know if the title shouldn't be somehow incorporated into the piece though and something more concise used for the title though...
    | Posted on 2004-10-08 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this. it has a sweet tone at the end. nicely constructed and paced. good work.

    [computer says i need more words...]
    | Posted on 2004-10-08 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      Being the owner of a 'Guitar' for the last forty three years, the guitar might posess some unique qualities, however it will not make music alone. So I assume your quandry lies in the acid or speed the oblique figure was using.
    Stick to country, they usually do the funny stuff off stage.
    Cute though, and right on for the rock scene.
    | Posted on 2004-10-08 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      ooo... one of them possessed a rich soul... what an ending... i personally reckon its the guitar... the dude dont sound really all that impressive to me but yeah... maybe its a combined effort...
    | Posted on 2004-10-08 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I've read a lot of short poems in my day, but this one has me over a barrel!
    (PICTURE) You look a little high strung, but not out of tune. The title makes me think, did you click something too soon?
    | Posted on 2004-10-08 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      very interesting. man, this reminds me of a david alan coe concert i just went to last month. he was barely alive it seemed. that said, the last line of the image I had would be "Was the master of the man".
    | Posted on 2004-10-16 00:00:00 | by jdinning67 | [ Reply to This ]
      Being a guitarist, I personally look like that when I play. Although my stuff sounds simple, people seem to enjoy it, so this poem struck me through and through.
    One thing though, the reference to blackberries. When I think of blackberries, I get a slightly tangy taste, which doesn't make sense for the statement of "Sweeter than blackberries." I like the idea of comparing it to a fruit, but not blackberries. Maybe passion-fruit, which might even work better for this situation beings that it is a passion you're writing about.
    | Posted on 2004-10-20 00:00:00 | by _proper_noun_ | [ Reply to This ]
      OK - hEared yOu wEre gOod - bUt i didn'T knOw yoU wEre thAt gOod. kUdos, giRL. sHort but rEally, really, REALLY (ok overacting now) gOOD. fInaLLy, a wriTe about tHe trUth behinD tHe trAnsfer of poWer. oR ratherm thE tRuth beHind real power oR Beauty - whAtever sEems fit.
    | Posted on 2004-10-20 00:00:00 | by Iris DeCarto | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this a lot. I'm a bassist, so making digs at guitarists is somethign I enjoy (we need to get our own back from time to time).
    I've meet people who ownky seem to come alive with a guitar in their hands, it's very wierd.
    You ever read 'Soul Music' by Terry Pratchcett? theres a charactor in that being drained by his guitar, - a metephore for the music business i presume- this remeinded me of it.
    | Posted on 2004-11-01 00:00:00 | by tranquil_demon | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to believe that you play guitar or as least are a discerning listener. What if you used the line."I closed my eyes and heard the sound" or some variation of this idea. I play guitar and mandolin and sometimes the music plays through me, I look down at my hands and wonder how it's all happening. The feel of this piece is very real. Thanks nansofast
    | Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Push written by JanePlane
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Every..... written by jackz
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    True Death written by layDsayD
    One Day written by WriteSomething
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    new moon written by CrypticBard




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]