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Losing Control Of My Heart

Author: Yousef
ASL Info:    26/M/Egypt
Elite Ratio:    8 - 468 /203 /22
Words: 420
Class/Type: Random Thoughts /Love
Total Views: 1638
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1961


What will you do when you realize that you lost control of your heart?!

Losing Control Of My Heart

This is a story about the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my whole life and believe me when I say I've seen a lot, she has every thing I'm looking for, she's all I ever need, but like they say nothing good comes for free as she doesn't feel for me what I'm feeling for her.

I tried every thing being kind, being friendly, being funny, but nothing have changed she thinks of me as a good friend and nothing more, but I said that's ok all love stories begin with friendship so I'll wait and like they say good things worth waiting for, but once again nothing have changed I am still that same old friend, then I thought well friendship is better than nothing, but I couldn't stand it I want her and I just can't deny it, so I said to my self why don't I try again and who knows?! As I believe it is better to try in vain than never to try at all.

So I tried but I obviously didn't try enough, so I said to my self may be I'm chasing a mirage, may be she is just another crazy dream that will never come true! But one way or another this story has to end whether I like the ending or not so I decided to forget her, I decided to resist her love, and I tried but I found that her love is like the quick sand the more I resist the more I drown in it, I'm losing control of my heart, so what should I do?! I can't have her and I can't forget her! Then I found the solution, the only solution that will end this story, I decided to leave my heart with her the next time we meet so she can do whatever she wants with it, it won't be mine any more and I won't suffer any more and so I did, I left my heart with her to use it to love any one or to hate any one or to invite any one to it, and I found that she's so kind as she invited every one except one

Yousef Hani

Submitted on 2004-10-08 07:26:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Wow...this was felt like I was the subject of the matter lol but really ..its an astute interpretation of the calamities of loving a best friend...the friendship is never the same...sometimes you lose that intimacy...Still its an easy read and I was anticipating to read further...this could be a beautiful book!You got a great story to tell!
| Posted on 2005-07-20 00:00:00 | by Nobantu | [ Reply to This ]
  oh wow. Ok, my first suggestion is to ADD PUNCTUATION. I know it's a random thought and thoughts seem to all rambled and meld together in our heads. But since you are putting this on paper, you really do have to edit for your readers. I'm incredibly surprised that no one else has commented on it! This was very hard for me to read, and I had a hard time getting through it because of confusion due to lack of punctuation.

I would say the content is good, but I don't particularly like it; I don't do well with self-pity. I'm a very pro-active person, and it's hard for me to realize that there may be certain situations that no matter how hard a person may try, all of their effort cannot bring about the desired results! However, you've caught the faith of all your other comments, and that should be reward enough for yourself.
| Posted on 2004-12-26 00:00:00 | by mixedemotions00 | [ Reply to This ]
  this is beautiful. im adding it to my favorites. read my prose "Message to your heart" its kinda similar. and thanks for your comment, any time.
| Posted on 2004-12-09 00:00:00 | by MizCandy05 | [ Reply to This ]
  Well, the outline is a little traditional but presented well, you should consider revising it for punctuation because it might make it a little distorted. You choice of words is good, but I felt bored when I reading, I felt there was a lot of repetition of meanings not words. I like that ending though.

I don't know why, but this reminds of a song called "Lady in Red". ;-)
| Posted on 2004-10-08 00:00:00 | by Beast | [ Reply to This ]
  It just goes to show that there are universal stories. You're able to present with good clarity the tragedy of unrequited love that is perennial through all cultures. You should have been a bit more detailed with how you actually interacted with the love of your life at the end.
| Posted on 2004-10-08 00:00:00 | by HaAtzmah | [ Reply to This ]
  I think your story was a little on the sad side but it failed to capture my deepest emotion of sadness. it did not move me so well but its only because im a hard critic with word usage.
| Posted on 2004-10-08 00:00:00 | by Medieval Aztec | [ Reply to This ]

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