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    dots Submission Name: Living with Bearsdots

    Author: leper messiah
    ASL Info:    21~f~New England
    Elite Ratio:    5.02 - 197/249/38
    Words: 140
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 837
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 872

       i have no clue. first thing i sat down and just wrote...finished...in a long time. its random thought, man, sad i guess...lots of that in my cave right now. sadness, i mean...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLiving with Bearsdots

    i was living with the bears

    we had no warm rolling tears

    they are but claws in a thick hide side

    why'd they bury me in my grunt

    feel like below but i'm really up front

    can't you see we're already all
    We are going to be...

    i am one of the smallest bears

    curling in new peachy fur and arguing

    why'd you have to leave me there

    in a rusted sycamore hole where if
    i could i'd of forgotten my soul

    trudge___drag my fur cuz it feels like mud

    got no place no rock just boiling blood

    and you only happened in the woods

    Bow and arrow fisted,
    grimness never left you but twisted

    once you heard the thud

    Submitted on 2004-10-08 14:44:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      random thoughts indeed, and you are still welcome here, why would you not be welcome. and another insight into your weird style. you always confuse me, or perhaps thats just because i'm still sleepy. anyways i understood three fouths of the poem, but was kinda left hanging in the air at the end, couldn't really understand it.

    and yeh cheer up, nobody should be sad, it should be outlawed! yeh great confusing write! and i'm getting more confused cuz i'm listening to thats the way by led zep, and i never could really understand their lyrics, but hey jimmy page's a legend!

    anyways see ya around!@!

    | Posted on 2004-10-11 00:00:00 | by Zu | [ Reply to This ]
      don't think i've read anything like this, it's weird and different and cool...it made me think of like umm what's that damn word? where you make animals like people and then people are like animals...damn, i lost my thought. I like it, it's cool! i'll leave it at that and try to find my head;)

    the line "i'm one of the smallest bears" made me smile and feel sad at the same time..i've always liked that contradictory feeling.
    | Posted on 2004-10-10 00:00:00 | by joe quinn | [ Reply to This ]
      Quite random thought indeed. But I think it works like I think all language ultimately should - conveying more emotion and actual meaning. And it is indeed sad. Is everything okay? I kinda expected a 'girl with her teddy' story, but this is much sadder. If ya need ta talk...
    | Posted on 2004-10-10 00:00:00 | by particularshard | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this, although I think you could flesh it out a bit if you want. I'm assuming 'i'd of forgotten my soul' is deliberately bad grammar (if it's not deliberate, it's: 'I'd have forgotten my soul') - I'm not sure about that myself, but whatever floats your boat I guess. I love the feel of this bear cub, especially 'curling in new peachy fur and arguing' - there's a surreal but very fitting feel to that, and 'leaving me in my grunt' this poem's got playfulness, even though it's sad, and a kind of primal energy - I think that's a quality in a lot of your work, and a very good one. Love it April. Becky
    | Posted on 2004-10-10 00:00:00 | by SugarMouse | [ Reply to This ]
      Well because of our convo the other day I think I have an idea about this one, however I definatley need to let this one ferment in my head before I can make an honest statement on it. Of course you know I love how you right...And you know if there is anything you need or wanna talk bout I am hear for ya!-John
    | Posted on 2004-10-08 00:00:00 | by Mithrandir | [ Reply to This ]
      Weird. . . I don't understand it at all. But I can help you make it good. . . first of all, though, I'm going to need to know what's going on in your mind, or if anything. . . but once I know that, I'd love to do a rewrite. . . to help the meaning come out - not completely clear, but clear enough that it is decipherable. Au revoir!
    | Posted on 2004-10-08 00:00:00 | by secret moon | [ Reply to This ]
      ooh... i kinda like it but it seems a bit abstract... random though was right... but with a little more tweaking it'd be great...
    Now past the poem... who's that in your picture? I think I might know who it is but don't wanna look like an idiot ~_~ ya know... might be wrong ^.^
    | Posted on 2004-10-08 00:00:00 | by Childoutspoken | [ Reply to This ]

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