Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Stars and Stripesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Leila
    ASL Info:    19/female/South Africa
    Elite Ratio:    4.23 - 98/85/18
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 378
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 955



    Description:
       This poem simply describes how American values and lifestyles have even managed to affect African cultures and is slowly killing who we really are. It is not meant to offend anyone.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStars and Stripesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    No force can defeat the greatest.
    Nor men of stone, nor men of holy books.
    We bow our heads low untill they touch the earth,
    for the nation of stars and stripes.

    (Hear not their call)
    (Beat the drum proudly)
    (Sing our great anthem loudly)

    Praise the flag of white, red and blue,
    for they bring freedom to the oppressed
    and democracy to the suppressed,
    'saving our lives', destroying who we are.

    (Be not ashamed)
    (listen to the rhythm within)
    (Here are our homes, our roots, our kin)

    Lay down your huts for builings tall.
    The new set of values: stars and stripes.
    Salute those soldiers from the home of the brave,
    they die so far, from their land so 'free'.

    (Do not be afraid)
    (We are the Africans, brave)
    (Go and find someone else to save)





    Submitted on 2004-10-09 04:02:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Your delivery was good as normal.
    your point was made elequently.
    The topic about the brave I can go on about that since I am over 1/4 indian what do we have to look foward to on thanksgiving day. I soppose we can be thankfull that we are not extenct. The blood bath of war is no tub I want to enter. If everyone agreed not to take up arms. Instead of a world divided perhapes a world united.
    Some behold the flag above the most high. Obviously any pome that stirs the emotions gets props. Regarless of the readers point of view. You have seem to have a talent for that so keep it up I look foward to viewing the rest of your stuff so keep it up Lelia.


    Sincerly Gannondalf aka Big Bear
    | Posted on 2006-05-03 00:00:00 | by Gannondalf | [ Reply to This ]
      I think it is well structured with the 4 and 3 line stanzas, although still not sure about the brackets but I'm sure you have some reason for them to be there.

    You have written about something that many people feel strongly about and so it is strong and can affect people. I love the line:
    "We bow our heads low untill they touch the earth" That pretty much sums up how I feel some people are for this "cause"
    | Posted on 2004-10-09 00:00:00 | by Predator | [ Reply to This ]
      Great poem. The feeling is like a strong undercurrent that really carries the sentiment across.
    Beat the drum proudly-the message is beaten like a drum throughout your poem.
    I appreciate the sentiment that your putting across but I honestly think that the U.S cops more [censored] from idealistic youth than it deserves.
    | Posted on 2004-10-09 00:00:00 | by HaAtzmah | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an excellent poem, the outline is great, and the feelings presented y the words are strong, I love it...my only hope is one day the will get the message...
    | Posted on 2004-10-09 00:00:00 | by Beast | [ Reply to This ]
      hey nice poem. like some great person on ce said 'freedom is just another method of control' the american attitude of 'we will give you "freedom" if you give up you identity, culture and values' seriously sucks. they just want everyone to be 9 till 5 worker drones and consumers.

    this poems great. it talks about something i care about and sounds good. i like the message and the format of the poem. its simple and has a smooth flow. i just dont see why you put the 3 line sanzas into brackets. but other than that it was great.
    | Posted on 2004-10-09 00:00:00 | by nameless_nobody | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.