Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Thought of Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kalidoscopeeyes
    ASL Info:    18/f
    Elite Ratio:    3.64 - 122/151/29
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 840
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 816



    Description:
       Sometimes I feel the complete opposite of this, but right now I'm in a bad mood and am lashing out at everyone. So take whatever you want from this...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Thought of Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I can't do this anymore.
    I'm closing this door to my heart
    Because I'm sick of you.
    Go figure this world out for yourself.
    Why am I so lonely?
    Because of people like you,
    Coming to me only when it's convenient.
    It wasn't easy for me to be vulnerable,
    To have complete trust in a friend.
    And you've abused that power you have over me,
    You've cut deeper than any blade could
    Because you've discovered my little secret:
    You can run away for as long as you want
    And come back knowing that I'll be here,
    Waiting to hear about your latest adventure.
    I hate you.
    Just look at what you've done.
    I'm here, standing, alone,
    And still I miss you.




    Submitted on 2004-10-09 17:15:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      That's how I feel about my Ex_boyfriend. I hate him so much, but i still miss him. I love that poem. Because it just speaks to the heart.

    ^Monkey^
    | Posted on 2004-10-09 00:00:00 | by Monkey | [ Reply to This ]
      once again I praise your work kalidoscopeeyes. this is brilliant.
    the only thing I would say pertaining to making it better is that, in my opinion, you should put a couple spaces here and there.
    for instance, after "go figure this world out for yourself." I think you should skip down a space and start the next paragraph with "Why am I so lonely?" because when you say 'why am I so lonely' you are starting a new idea.
    nonetheless, this is still a good piece and I love it.
    | Posted on 2004-10-18 00:00:00 | by max | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    27413

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry