[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: House of Richesdots

    Author: Semper Fidelis
    ASL Info:    22/Male/ouahu, Hawaii
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 135/185/60
    Words: 611
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 921
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3922

        I had to write this poem for an english course I am taking in school at the present moment. I decided to piss to piss off the teacher by writting a long poem almost epic like in style. But the reaction I got was not what I expected, so check it out

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHouse of Richesdots

    The Outside:

    We came upon the house-
    A monument fit for Soloman.
    Masonry was perfect and
    beautifully decorated-
    Reminicant of an Arthurian
    Only lacking the moor.

    I was an ant-
    in the shadow of
    this fortress-
    An insignificant blemish
    on the face of this house-

    Great oaken doors-
    Knocks were in the likeness of
    Bacchas rang true thoughout
    this mansion-
    And with weight, force and much
    dispute, the doors opened.

    A brick wall compliments
    the profile of the house-
    like a bejeweled corsette-
    especially in the afternoon-
    An architects wet dream.

    I enter.

    First Floor

    Mosiac on the ceiling
    Hand painted tile on the walls
    custom built stars, original paintings in
    every room.

    Money can be smelled
    on both stories of the house-
    Aristocratic mannerisms
    seep from a lower class

    So out of place-
    In rags, walking
    through this compound of
    Jealous as to what I am lacking
    Angry at the waste of funds

    What would it be like
    to be so wealthy?
    To look at a hundred
    dollars as mere paper?
    Poor am I indeed.

    A wine cellar-
    as deep within as a normal house,
    vrimming with fine wine,
    the likes of which a
    peon like me could never
    dream to afford-
    Red brick housing walls-
    in a climate controlled
    A race car red
    Model T convertable
    with a cobra engine
    housed within-
    all for one man!

    Second Floor
    Up the spiral staircase-
    of oak and cypress;
    A ballroom made bedroom
    persian rug and chandelier-
    A red wood door
    with ivory handles-
    as big as a barn, yet far more attractive-
    Hand carved nature designs
    of flowers, trees and vines
    climb and grow through out the grain of these doors
    forever etched in time.

    Antique porcelin tub-
    Gold leaf water spout.
    Midas came here once
    His mark is scattered throughout the house.

    Onto the balcony-
    Wrought iron railings
    and antique theatre chairs,
    look over a city of peasant folk and streets-
    In the neighborhood of
    the rich, this house ,only,
    will catch your eye.

    Into the house again-
    and in the other bedroom-
    Filled with dark blues and
    soft down beds-
    Though the hallway-
    Pictures cover the wall
    of family, of friends-
    portraits of them all.
    An elevator we take down
    simultaneously with my spirits-
    Knowing only strife and
    debt into this house of

    The elevator stops-
    back on the first floor-
    Out through the door
    into the Grotto-
    My spirits sink more.

    The Grotto

    Through an aromatic garden
    on a cobble stone path-
    Marigolds and roses
    hide the secret place-
    Statuary deep within the flowers.
    Fountains act as watering
    tools for the plants-

    Also they feed the
    pool, of clear blue
    and white-
    Warm and bubbleing
    for use during the

    Realizing how poor I am-
    I walk through the garden gate-
    How twisted and fleeting
    is the beast we call fate.
    Out onto the street-
    from which I came-
    I leave with invitations-
    to come and regret again...

    Submitted on 2004-10-09 21:42:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      hello marine,

    well you're right, this was an excellent poem of epic proportions. great job on this. are you a reservist? in Louisiana? i'm stationed in japan at iwakuni. this piece was cool as hell, you did a hell of a job in the imagry department. thanks man
    | Posted on 2004-10-09 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]
      holy crap! your imagry is AMAZING! you created your own little world. AWESOME. that's just... wow...i really can't describe it. there is nothing i would change. i can see the whole thing so perfectly it's creepy. DUDE THIS KIX AZZ! wow, i'm astonished by how you went from one room to another and...wow. this is GREAT!
    | Posted on 2004-10-09 00:00:00 | by winged_writer_robyn | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]