I remember when we used to talk, I remember when we used to listen to each other, I remember when I told you that I love another girl, and I remember that this was the biggest mistake in my life, I remember when I was asked if I love you and I said no, I remember that this was the second biggest mistake in my life, I remember when I realized that you are the one I want, I remember when I realized that you are the only one for me, I remember when I realized that my life doesn’t mean any thing without you, I also remember when I realized that I have nothing if I don’t have you, I remember the first time I dreamt of you and I remember the last time I dreamt of you, and I also remember all the dreams in between that I had about you, and the most important thing I remember is those dreams that I had about us and about the life that I dreamt of making with you and about the family that I dreamt of raising with you, and I remember the time when I was going to tell you all this and I also remember that I found out it was too late.
I don’t know who should I blame? Me or you, me for being late or you for not giving me the chance to tell you how I really feel, me for leaving you to be with someone who doesn’t deserve you, or you for choosing the wrong one to be with, me for dreaming of something I can’t have or you for leaving my true love and searching for a fake one, me for misleading my heart, or you for not facing me from the start.
I know that I left my heart with you, and I know that every thing is probably over now, and I don’t know what do I expect from you after I wrote this? But at least…Can you give me my heart back?
| Wow. That's very sad. I'm sorry that it happened to you. The writing is really good; wording, description, and the way you didn't trail off onto something else. Excellent job, but try to make a poem with it, like verses instead of paragraphs, but you don't have to listen to me . . .||| Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by WindEmpress | [ Reply to This ] || I loved the poem. In all reality it was great. It moved me. It really did. i am so sorry that happened to you but you expressed yourself so well with that poem. |
"me for dreaming of something I can’t have or you for leaving my true love and searching for a fake one"
that was my favorite part. Overall the flow was great but I would suggest breaking up the poem a bit just so peopl get a bit less confused. Other than that I think you are great at this. Keep writing. And remember the first choice isn't always the best choice.
|| Posted on 2005-01-16 00:00:00 | by Sarah Leger | [ Reply to This ] || Amazing, just great! you did very good in this one in terms of flow. I like how you had rhythm and like a sequence...and it just worked perfectly. :) This work really let me experience what you experienced in a way...i felt so many emotions run through me as I read it...a very good job indeed! I cant say anything to help you improve, because it was perfect!||| Posted on 2005-02-24 00:00:00 | by trmbngrl | [ Reply to This ] || Why does love have to be such a [censored]? Seriously. I don't know if I'm just bitter or what. But, I'm not seeing the point in it right now, and that scares some of my friends. Because, they say if you give up on love then you give up on life. But, look at the hurt it causes. |
*Takes deep breath and composes self*
This is a very well written poem, lots of emotion, very direct, I enjoy the way you talk to the reader. Good imagery and very painful. I'm sorry this happened. But, something beautiful came out of it.
|| Posted on 2004-11-16 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ] || i think... i think i read this thinking why does anyone have to take the blame... why does there need to be blame... theres a lot of rememories going on here and a lot of regret too but i guess thats what love is all about... we all make mistakes and im becoming more and more convinced of that line 'you dont know what you got til its gone' so yeah...|
take your heart back, put it back together and go on unafraid... keep loving keep living and who knows what the future may bring... good luck with everything
|| Posted on 2004-11-05 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ] || If you get your heart back, look for a piece of it being sliced off and it may never grow back quite like it was! Thats the price of loving, and the sacrifice given for all the moonbeams that were wasted. |
Great write by the way.
|| Posted on 2004-11-02 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ] || Well, I look the story more than the piece, sorry..I can't think of anything else to say. I don't feel sorry for you at all, in a matter of fact I think you had it comming, you deserve every single moment of grief you are experiencing, and I blieve that you should suffer for eternity, now you are crying about her, but have you ever thought about how she felt, being neglected and practically humiliated by your arogance or ignorance...may you find someone that treats you the same way you treated her...it's called RETRIBUTION.||| Posted on 2004-10-14 00:00:00 | by Beast | [ Reply to This ] || Very emotional. One of the things I enojoyed by reading this entry was how you didn't put in any periods. You continued the thoughts with commas. That's exactly what you do when you're going through a time like this-your thoughts wonder and become a long train from bumping and leading in to one another. I enjoyed this profusely and I don't think the poem should be broken up into seperate stanzas. It would take some of the intensity out of it. |
Very well done...
|| Posted on 2004-12-02 00:00:00 | by His Lost Angel | [ Reply to This ] || 'Can you give me my heart back?' that kind of put a twist in MY heart. But it was obviously your fault, I would not have listened to you either. I'm not saying you suffer for all eternity, but... you kind of had that coming? Anyways, I think it was a beautiful write, and love is a dirty game.|
|| Posted on 2004-10-29 00:00:00 | by Alize | [ Reply to This ] || this poem for some odd reason made me laugh, i'm just one of those people that laughs at the mistakes i make, which most often is the result of my forgetting or holding back. i'm also very sentimental, which means i'm always sitting around just thinking about the few things that have happened in my life, and then laughing about them. does this make me a happy person? no. obviously you're not too happy about remembering all those mistakes either. well crafted poem, really just hit me strangely. well done.||| Posted on 2004-11-26 00:00:00 | by osweetrepose | [ Reply to This ] || oh yeah, and everybody says you deserve your pain, but i do not think that is so. i know how it is to be misled in love, and how sometimes you just make wrong decisions. no one can chastise you for that. if she doesn't give you another chance, then you do not want to be stuck with her for the rest of your life anyway.||| Posted on 2004-11-26 00:00:00 | by osweetrepose | [ Reply to This ] || as i was reading this, in the beginning i was thinking, wow, what a jerk... but by the end i really felt sorry for you.. not because of the pain.. everyone goes through pain.. but because you couldn't see from the start that you were messing things up.. i am in a relationship like this right now.. my boyfriend told me he didn't love me.. after a year of being together.. i accepted that... some people can't say it, but i knew that he showed it whether he believed it or not... now it's been two years.. he says it sometimes, but he's in love with his best friend...he's told me... but they will never be together... so i deal with that knoweledge because i love him... so if that girl really loved you..love never dies... and she would see that you've matured and maybe give you another chance...as long as you appologize for confusing her in the first place... fare well||| Posted on 2004-10-16 00:00:00 | by besodemuerte | [ Reply to This ] |