Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: breathing adaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Vibrant
    Elite Ratio:    2.7 - 855/538/131
    Words: 25
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 932
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 195



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsbreathing adaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Debre` lurks within me.
    Holding an umbrella up high,
    to take cover.
    Acid flying down
    tunneling its way right
    threw my cold,
    and shivering
    intakes.




    Submitted on 2004-10-11 11:25:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      interesting write. It is short, but strait to the point. And it seems dark and/ or depressive. maybe if you would regulate the stanzas it would help the flow of the poem. Well anyways great write!
    | Posted on 2004-10-11 00:00:00 | by nj | [ Reply to This ]
      uhm...dont know what to say about this one either...again, a few fragments that could be made better...dont grasp the conept of this one either...maybe I should just quite while Im ahead???

    ->Dark
    | Posted on 2004-10-19 00:00:00 | by drk_angl_17 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    27660

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry