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faded away


Author: Scribbles1338
ASL Info:    18/Female/St. Louis
Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 169 /167 /37
Words: 95
Class/Type: Poetry /Venting
Total Views: 1351
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 721



Description:


I was inspired to write this while trudging through pulldes, in nice clothes, on my way home during a downpour. So I was a little upset about some things, and the rain didn't help at all.


faded away



Promises soaked
With tears of regret
Drowning in lies
Over which they were shed

Feeling a struggle
Between heart and mind
Searching for answers
That I know I won’t find

Everything’s faded
Like an old photograph
Forgotten faces
Spin through my mind

The words overwhelm me
And I cannot breathe
This truth that I learned
I had never perceive

Maybe I’m hopeless
And drowning in pain
This forlorn struggle
Continued in vain

Only my pillow
Hears these muffled screams
As the tears fall upon it
Erasing my dreams




Submitted on 2004-10-11 16:12:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  pretty excellent flow in this for most of the stanzas....you need 'percieved' I felt all the stanzas had some gem in them, ...the photograph...the struggle between heart and mind.....I was expecting something bland given your comment on your writing but this is lively and challenging....goodstuff
| Posted on 2004-10-11 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
  I'm pretty sure I know exactly where you are coming from in this poem. My favorite stanza was:

Feeling a struggle
Between heart and mind
Searching for answers
That I know I won’t find

It was very well written and something I can relate to almost everyday.
| Posted on 2004-10-11 00:00:00 | by BlackAsh | [ Reply to This ]
  Nobody has commented on here yet so I will do the honors. I really like the first stanza.

Promises soaked
With tears of regret
Drowning in lies
Over which they were shed.

very well written. I look forward to reading more of your stuff.
| Posted on 2004-10-11 00:00:00 | by FeelingAlive | [ Reply to This ]


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