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    dots Submission Name: faded awaydots

    Author: Scribbles1338
    ASL Info:    18/Female/St. Louis
    Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 169/167/37
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 826
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 715

       I was inspired to write this while trudging through pulldes, in nice clothes, on my way home during a downpour. So I was a little upset about some things, and the rain didn't help at all.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfaded awaydots

    Promises soaked
    With tears of regret
    Drowning in lies
    Over which they were shed

    Feeling a struggle
    Between heart and mind
    Searching for answers
    That I know I wonít find

    Everythingís faded
    Like an old photograph
    Forgotten faces
    Spin through my mind

    The words overwhelm me
    And I cannot breathe
    This truth that I learned
    I had never perceive

    Maybe Iím hopeless
    And drowning in pain
    This forlorn struggle
    Continued in vain

    Only my pillow
    Hears these muffled screams
    As the tears fall upon it
    Erasing my dreams

    Submitted on 2004-10-11 16:12:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      pretty excellent flow in this for most of the stanzas....you need 'percieved' I felt all the stanzas had some gem in them, ...the photograph...the struggle between heart and mind.....I was expecting something bland given your comment on your writing but this is lively and challenging....goodstuff
    | Posted on 2004-10-11 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm pretty sure I know exactly where you are coming from in this poem. My favorite stanza was:

    Feeling a struggle
    Between heart and mind
    Searching for answers
    That I know I wonít find

    It was very well written and something I can relate to almost everyday.
    | Posted on 2004-10-11 00:00:00 | by BlackAsh | [ Reply to This ]
      Nobody has commented on here yet so I will do the honors. I really like the first stanza.

    Promises soaked
    With tears of regret
    Drowning in lies
    Over which they were shed.

    very well written. I look forward to reading more of your stuff.
    | Posted on 2004-10-11 00:00:00 | by FeelingAlive | [ Reply to This ]

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