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    dots Submission Name: Torn Awaydots

    Author: winged_writer_robyn
    ASL Info:    16/f/wa
    Elite Ratio:    3.36 - 116/162/44
    Words: 174
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 748
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1277

       mom and i fought today....for the last time. for all you guys, i'm getting the f**k out of here. i love doug dearly, but i can't stand hurting like this at home. all i need is my brother's concent, then i can leave. i might try to stay together with doug, but there's a lot of distance between washington and ohio. for those that are christians, keep me in your prayers. thanks

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    dotsTorn Awaydots

    the fighting between
    you and me
    You heard me:
    I'm leaving
    out that door
    as soon as I buy
    the plane ticket
    This...This HELLHOLE
    isn't HOME
    there is no unity here;
    "family" is not a familiar word
    in this cursed house.
    I'm leaving
    to Ohio
    to live
    with Roy...
    I don't care
    what you say.
    Hell, I'd leave today
    if i had thought of it
    This has become
    too much to handle;
    I'm tired of turning
    to a blade
    every time my heart bleeds.
    Soon that blade
    will inch up
    against the pulsing vein
    because I'm sick and tired
    of the pain.
    You caused this.
    You've torn me away
    from the one good thing
    in my life.
    The only thing I actually love;
    That loves me back.
    You don't love me.
    You wouldn't put me through this
    if you did.
    So now
    I'm being torn away
    from life itself
    because you refuse
    to let me live.

    Submitted on 2004-10-11 19:26:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love this. . . your short, choppy lines (which really aren't choppy at all) really got the point across to me. The interesting rhyme-scheme really caught my eye. . . made me think of my favorite poem that I ever wrote, which I need to post. I'm really sorry about your mother and you, I'll keep both of you in my prayers. The seventeenth line I would change to:
    "family" is an unfamiliar word
    That's basically it. Good write.
    | Posted on 2004-10-11 00:00:00 | by secret moon | [ Reply to This ]
      Isn't it funny funny how ignorant people can be at times? When leaving simply, doesn't appear to be the wisest way out,instaed they stick around to fight another round, just to cry even harder th next time you get knocked out. But you got it! You left that intolerable fool,didn't ya'?Good for you.lol!-vlad09
    | Posted on 2004-10-11 00:00:00 | by Damien Vladimir | [ Reply to This ]
      i can tell that this was formed from pure anger even hate.. sigh.. it leads me to believe that you are blinded by it at the moment.. i can say little because i don't know what to say really.. just i hope things work out for you.. i feel sorry for doug though.. two people who love each other shouldn't be kept apart.. well all the best.. never know what the dawn brings..
    | Posted on 2004-10-11 00:00:00 | by Pyrosis | [ Reply to This ]

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