Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lonely Nightsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Linz
    ASL Info:    24/f/Ne
    Elite Ratio:    2.52 - 86/118/44
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 743
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 738



    Description:
       This i just recently wrote this for my boyfriend to tell him how much i miss him at night and how much i love him.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLonely Nightsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Nights seem to be endless
    Tossing, turning all night long
    No wonder it never ends
    Too busy wishing you were here
    Holding me in your arms
    Knowing that I'm safe
    Nothing could go wrong
    Just the night going to fast.

    Yet waking up in the morning
    Without you by my side
    Is like waking up not knowing where you are
    Not knowing what happened last night
    And how you ended up in this place
    Somethings simply don't seem right

    The day goes on empty
    Till I see your face
    Spend a small amount of time together
    Knowing we'll have to part
    Going our separate ways
    For another Lonely Night.




    Submitted on 2004-10-11 19:50:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      the poem reaches the reader in a very effective way.. it is very powerful.. i say leave it as it is.. well im sure your boyfriend would like to here that.. in some way or another.. your not the only one that feels that way you can be certain of that.. all the best to you..
    Adam
    | Posted on 2004-10-11 00:00:00 | by Pyrosis | [ Reply to This ]
      The beginning or this is rough. The sentiment are a bit too disjointed. It smoothes out in the second stanza, but it still lacks imagery to make it more than just okay. Try to infuse some originality into it...you've got a good start, but now you need to take it to the next level.
    jan
    | Posted on 2004-10-11 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    27718

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry