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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Too Much Like Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 47
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 911
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 322



    Description:
       I was watching Starting Over yesterday, and one of the life coaches said she was "marinated" in infidelity because she was the product of adultery.

    I'm angry at my father because he never cared for me as a child. He never supported me financially or emotionally. He also has a son who is three months younger than I. I was conceived after my parents separated and tried to reconcile. Well, they divorced, and I think my grandmother blames me for their divorce. My father emotionally abused my mom, and on occasion, he's done it to me. To tell the truth, I wish he'd never come around me again. He makes me feel horrible. He calls me stupid and crazy. Now that he's old, he expects me to care though he's never cared for me. I don't hate my father. I never said that. I just wish he'd treat me properly or leave me alone.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsToo Much Like Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm your cruel seed
    sown in her battered womb,
    and marinated in your conflict,
    so how can the result
    be superior to the effort?
    Now you're an old man,
    and I'm supposed to pity you
    supposed to care,
    but your flawed creation
    is too much like you.




    Submitted on 2004-10-12 04:43:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      bitterness...but well placed...

    he deserves every line of this poem...


    "marinated in your conflict"

    only you could come up with a line like that.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-10-07 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      really good venting poem. it's sad when you never get emotional support from your Dad. I know how that feels. my Dad didn't leave but anyway. the ending is like a slap in the face but very good.
    | Posted on 2004-10-14 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      Memories like you described in your description are hard to overcome and move past when the loved one needs your support. But, forgiveness is what makes us stronger. I truely believe that. Never forget, just don't repeat his mistakes and look down upon him. Good luck. :) Good write as well.
    -blt
    | Posted on 2004-10-12 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      I know how this feels... only in my case I know that when he is ill and infirm in his final year(s) it will be without me nearby. My father didn't abandon us until he was nearly 70 years old, but then again, even though he was always there, he was never THERE. I doubt I've had more than a ten-word conversation with him in my entire life. He just barely exists for me, In some random, out-of-site-out-of-mind way...
    | Posted on 2004-10-12 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]
      break that chain! break that cycle! this makes me think of the part in the Bible that talks about the "sins of the father." when can we let that [censored] go and just move on and break the ties that seem to bind us this way? that's what this made me think of. i'm sorry it sounds harsh. it's just that i think of you as such a kind, beautiful person, and to think that you carry that feeling of inferiority from your father just chaps my hide! this is a brittle, bitter and brutal little poem to swallow.
    | Posted on 2004-10-12 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      The bitterness of this write and the pain it evokes it like swallowing battery acid: it burns going down and burns coming back up. You really nailed the culprit in this piece in a Cat's In The Craddle sort of fashion.

    He sowed the wind and you are his whirlwind.

    Damn good write (I am sorry it hurts.)
    | Posted on 2004-10-12 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, I prefer poems without too much in the description box...this one stands alone but when you put all that in there I feel it makes for less accuarate feedback...anyways

    I felt this was a real beaut love the marinated line but really it's strong from go to whoah.....makes me wonder how you as the poet feel about yourself. Very strong and original piece...feels like it could have been written just yesterday (~_^)
    | Posted on 2004-10-12 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      Ohh, this is powerful. I'm going to commit the cardinal sin and assume the I narrator is you, the author, cuddle - because of the intro. Marinating in the womb is such a gripping idea that makes so much sense. I'd delete the Now in the 6th line, I think it would create even more punch and bitterness. Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2004-10-12 00:00:00 | by boompatah | [ Reply to This ]


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