Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fateful Stardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HaAtzmah
    ASL Info:    19/m/western australia
    Elite Ratio:    3.48 - 84/115/30
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 999
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1157



    Description:
       I realise that this poem is a little hard to interpret so if you have any questions please please please just ask me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFateful Stardots
    -------------------------------------------


    A beam of glowing light is spread
    On the path that lies before.
    Illumined by the fateful star
    Emblazoned on his heart.

    He’ll look for time in broken clocks
    Found absent in his soul’s endeavour.
    Tortured ticking tempts him not
    When battery’s core’s been turned to rot.

    He fixes fate a stony glare
    Rare courage to undermine
    Once supreme engine room
    Driving humankind.

    His father’s legacy reminds him
    Strength of will is iron cast
    Resists the growing, flowing tide
    Of those who seek to corrupt his mind.

    Once he found the guiding light
    Quenched the thirst of a gaping hole
    Then the clocks began to chime
    And free his shackled soul.

    Ignoring all the crumbling steps
    By gripping his reality
    Recalls the source and gathers strength
    Of blood of David in his veins

    A beam of glowing light is spread
    On the path that lies before.
    Illumined by the fateful star
    Emblazoned on his heart.








    Submitted on 2004-10-12 05:15:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I wish that I could have written that well when I was sixteen. anyway I hope you don't mind I gonna add this to my favorites... for a couple of reasons. one this piece was very well thought out. the articulate manner in which it was written is normally some thing that you gain through experience writing and I am curious to see what you are capable of in the future. this was great. keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2004-10-12 00:00:00 | by isaiahc4 | [ Reply to This ]
      I think Fateful Star echoes throughout the write and would be a more appealing title.

    This was an interesting write with an abstract, surreal feel in the references.

    Writing up hill is always a challenge.
    | Posted on 2004-10-12 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      'Fateful Star' is in the now great tradition of your powerful, emotive poetry. The timeless yet temporate nature of the poem is testament to the age old influences that you have drawn on. There was a wide variety of imagery (the star lighting the road) and symbolism (fateful star-star of David) are once again very powerful images. You are definitely at your best writing about something dear to you, and evidently the 'star' is one such theme.
    | Posted on 2004-10-22 00:00:00 | by Civilian | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    27766

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Bond written by saartha
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Giving written by jjd
    To written by SavedDragon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Push written by JanePlane
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    This written by Chelebel
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry