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    dots Submission Name: Fateful Stardots

    Author: HaAtzmah
    ASL Info:    19/m/western australia
    Elite Ratio:    3.48 - 84/115/30
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 957
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1157

       I realise that this poem is a little hard to interpret so if you have any questions please please please just ask me.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFateful Stardots

    A beam of glowing light is spread
    On the path that lies before.
    Illumined by the fateful star
    Emblazoned on his heart.

    He’ll look for time in broken clocks
    Found absent in his soul’s endeavour.
    Tortured ticking tempts him not
    When battery’s core’s been turned to rot.

    He fixes fate a stony glare
    Rare courage to undermine
    Once supreme engine room
    Driving humankind.

    His father’s legacy reminds him
    Strength of will is iron cast
    Resists the growing, flowing tide
    Of those who seek to corrupt his mind.

    Once he found the guiding light
    Quenched the thirst of a gaping hole
    Then the clocks began to chime
    And free his shackled soul.

    Ignoring all the crumbling steps
    By gripping his reality
    Recalls the source and gathers strength
    Of blood of David in his veins

    A beam of glowing light is spread
    On the path that lies before.
    Illumined by the fateful star
    Emblazoned on his heart.

    Submitted on 2004-10-12 05:15:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I wish that I could have written that well when I was sixteen. anyway I hope you don't mind I gonna add this to my favorites... for a couple of reasons. one this piece was very well thought out. the articulate manner in which it was written is normally some thing that you gain through experience writing and I am curious to see what you are capable of in the future. this was great. keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2004-10-12 00:00:00 | by isaiahc4 | [ Reply to This ]
      I think Fateful Star echoes throughout the write and would be a more appealing title.

    This was an interesting write with an abstract, surreal feel in the references.

    Writing up hill is always a challenge.
    | Posted on 2004-10-12 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      'Fateful Star' is in the now great tradition of your powerful, emotive poetry. The timeless yet temporate nature of the poem is testament to the age old influences that you have drawn on. There was a wide variety of imagery (the star lighting the road) and symbolism (fateful star-star of David) are once again very powerful images. You are definitely at your best writing about something dear to you, and evidently the 'star' is one such theme.
    | Posted on 2004-10-22 00:00:00 | by Civilian | [ Reply to This ]

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