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Gilded Demise

Author: Voodoo_Lounge
ASL Info:    21/F/OH
Elite Ratio:    2.29 - 408 /588 /171
Words: 56
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1195
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 417


i wrote this quite awhile ago. I'm not happy with it, but there are a few ideas that remain fluid to me.

Gilded Demise

Oh howi love this man
That doesn't give a damn for me.
Fragmented by derision,
Content misused debris.
Kisses all so meaningless,
Incandescent little lies.
Made soft by careless arms,
Comfortable gilded demise.
At his hands i come to life,
A masochistic Galatea.
So willing, wanton... wasted-
A bruised an beaten girl of clay.

Submitted on 2004-10-13 14:19:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Fantastic! I loved the light rhyme scheme that you used and your choice of words made this piece absolutely beautiful. The emotion was really brought out in each and every line and the flow was great.

"Kisses all so meaningless,
Incandescent little lies.
Made soft by careless arms,
Comfortable gilded demise"

Amazing lines.

You have a lot of talent and I look forward to reading more from you soon. btw this is going right to my favorites.
| Posted on 2004-10-13 00:00:00 | by Babysweet56 | [ Reply to This ]
  this peom is something i can relate to. all my relationships end like this. the guy just hanging around to get something. and i can relate to this. its awesome how you were able to capture it.
| Posted on 2004-10-13 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
  as much as you say your not a huge fan of it, i really like it, Awesome vocabulary that you have, i am first of all very impressed but also the words you chose could almost stand alone and show the meaning. personally I think it is quite lovely
| Posted on 2004-10-13 00:00:00 | by Kaitylizzy | [ Reply to This ]

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