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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: So Let This Be A Lessondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 147
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 656
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 897



    Description:
       It's weird the subject of this piece happened almost a year ago but just right now for some reason I felt the need to write this....Yes my father hit my sister, and no I wasn't just the bigger person, the only reason I didn't break him was due a promise to my sister. So yeah this is just a venting piece, to anyone who has ever been beaten by and abusive parent or a situation similar to being on my end of the perspective my heart is with you, but there is peace to be found.


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    dotsSo Let This Be A Lessondots
    -------------------------------------------


    You never thought Id walk away
    but Im off into the setting sun


    So let this be a lesson
    Let this wound become a scar
    A blemish upon your ideals


    I was the cherished son
    The naïve one


    So let this be a lesson
    Let this wound become a scar
    You never forget


    Just take your hands off my sister
    I know now who you are


    So let this be a lesson
    Let this wound become a scar
    Your not supposed to hit a girl


    You never thought Id walk away
    I never thought you’d go this far
    Im just the proud “BASTARD”
    But I’ll never try to prove Im the stronger one


    So let this be a lesson
    You learn well
    Your children have no father
    May you burn in hell




    Submitted on 2004-10-13 16:40:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      wow...i don't remember ever reading this piece...i thought i read everything of yours...but aparently i missed this one...the anger here is defently felt when reading this ...it shows how protective of your sister you are and how much you love her...so you didn't hit him...thats defently being the bigger man...the refrence of the proud [censored] fits perfetly into this write...and the repeated 'so let this be a lesson'...gets the anger your feeling across...i'm sorry you ever had to experience that and your sister to...that is horrible...you sound like a wonderful brother...purp
    | Posted on 2004-11-15 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is very intense darling
    but i feel like knowing you this could be so much better
    this was like the easy way out
    the simple in your fae say what you need to say thing
    but it doesnt show becuase its so overly simple
    it does convey your emotions pretty well though
    and i love you
    | Posted on 2004-10-14 00:00:00 | by scorpio sphinx | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, man. this is...extremely intense. i can say i am sorry for what happened in your family, and that may mean something, but...i dunno, i can't really "make it better" and that bothers me about situations like that. <sigh>. its tough. but anyhow...
    Just take your hands off my sister
    I know now who you are
    that hit me like a wet bag of cement, very poignant, along with this
    Let this wound become a scar
    Your not supposed to hit a girl
    my father used to hit my mom. i always felt like if i wasn;t there it wouldve been better because she could've left, or found someone new or gotten help...he was an alcoholic, and some of the stuff...i'll just never forget. the last line, gave me shivers...very emotional. i have been struggling with that letting my feelings actually hit the paper before i stuff them back in...its not workin, for i am too hard still...but this makes me want to do better. love and daisies, april
    | Posted on 2004-10-14 00:00:00 | by leper messiah | [ Reply to This ]
      That last verse was probably one of the best endings you've ever written. It brings an image to mind, of a cold and disciplined man, who seems tense but not violent, bordering on placid. He is walking by, and then he turns to look at me, and for a moment you see through his eyes the firey hatred, and blazing fury, that lies beneath. It hit me pretty hard actually. Very very good work.
    | Posted on 2004-10-13 00:00:00 | by Ontlogicalamity | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, Mith. For what its worth, I'm sorry this had to happen. I don't know how you held back your fists, but your words pack one hell of a punch. The last lines were especially intense, and summed up your feeling really well. Great write,
    HWKI
    | Posted on 2004-10-13 00:00:00 | by HWKI | [ Reply to This ]
      I understand, I really do.. and i can tell you, you are so strong to not have... promise or no. I hope writing this helped. :)
    | Posted on 2004-10-13 00:00:00 | by wilderness | [ Reply to This ]
      i'm so sorry John, truly from the bottom of my heart and to the tips of my fingertips...may peace always be with you and yours.

    now this poem...holy flippen hanna my dear mom and i both are covered in goose bumps and on the brink of tears. you've poured your heart into this with rage and yet an almost calm clearity that chills me to the bone...

    'let this be a lesson learned,
    let this wound become a scar'
    amazing...
    very very powerful write John,
    thank you for sharing yours and your sisters pain with all of us.
    kelly...and glassgo
    | Posted on 2004-10-13 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds like you have a lot of anger. This poem really touches on stuff that happens to alot of kids. It was really well written. Good flow. I really look forward to reading more of your work in the future. =
    | Posted on 2004-10-13 00:00:00 | by FeelingAlive | [ Reply to This ]


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