This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

This Empire

Author: Voodoo_Lounge
ASL Info:    21/F/OH
Elite Ratio:    2.29 - 408 /588 /171
Words: 46
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1355
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 329


This is my most recent poem. I think i like this one.

This Empire

Weak with worry,
Gilded with guilt.
Always to suffer
This empire we built.
Cruel and so lovely;
To carve without haste,
Into the heart
Of this inhuman waste.
Years upon years,
Always i wait-
For a man that won't love me
And always is late.

Submitted on 2004-10-13 23:05:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  I have just one question, I really wasn't clear on what the empire was that "we built". Is it love..marriage? or am I totally off in left field on this one. Great thought provoking statements. Good job!
| Posted on 2004-10-13 00:00:00 | by AFireInside01 | [ Reply to This ]
  Such a sad poem. It provokes a lot of thought: IS the empire your life, ahouse or love? Is it false on the outside or mearly false alll the way through?
| Posted on 2004-10-13 00:00:00 | by amboehm | [ Reply to This ]
  OK, this is a nice poem, deep thought and tenderness as well as boldness, keep up the good work and I'll keep reading. illusions35959
| Posted on 2004-10-13 00:00:00 | by illusions35959 | [ Reply to This ]
  i LOVE this one. you took a deep thought and put it into a perfect poem. i don't have anything to critique, i loved it.
| Posted on 2004-10-13 00:00:00 | by aliciaflower04 | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?