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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Drowning Inside Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LadyInRed88
    ASL Info:    19/f/MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.68 - 131/180/32
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1147
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 874



    Description:
       I dont really know how to decribe this. I honestly couldnt tell you where my inspiration came from. I started with "love is a past time" and just went from there and this is what i got.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDrowning Inside Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You said,
    "Love is just a past time."
    I said,
    "Love is just my life."
    And I tried to pull out of the trance
    That I was pulled into by your eyes.

    For now I'll try to fill the void you left inside my heart.
    (Emptiness can hollow out your pride)
    And since you left, I'm proud to say,
    I'm completely empty here inside.

    You said,
    "We love to feel ourselves slowly drowning."
    I said,
    "We love so we do not drown alone."
    And I tried so hard to stop hoping that I'll be holding YOU
    When I finally find my heart a home...

    Oh for now I'll hold my breath,
    And watch the world stand still-
    As I drown inside your memory
    And love you against your will...




    Submitted on 2004-10-14 21:28:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      aww thats so sad...very well written though :-) i think im adding this to my favorites. i love the way it rhymed, & i really like the part:

    "You said,
    "We love to feel ourselves slowly drowning."
    I said,
    "We love so we do not drown alone."
    And I tried so hard to stop hoping that I'll be holding YOU
    When I finally find my heart a home..."

    that made me cry. lol ive been very emotional lately. Anyways, it was really good, youre very talented.

    * nikkki *
    | Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      I absolutetly love the last stanza. This was peiced togethher quite nicely. I like the contradicting dialogue also, with each character thoughts negating the other's, as if they could not possibly share the same opinion. The difference between the two, the pain of one way love...You've captured the essence well.
    Nice Job!
    -Kristina9178
    | Posted on 2004-10-30 00:00:00 | by Kristina9178 | [ Reply to This ]


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