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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Walking Through The Raindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LadyInRed88
    ASL Info:    19/f/MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.68 - 131/180/32
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1472
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 993



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWalking Through The Raindots
    -------------------------------------------


    I love walkin' through the rain...
    Mascara running down my face,
    and my hair all in a mess.
    I love walkin' through the rain,
    (because thats when you love me best)

    Its so nice to see storm clouds
    Overtaking the blue,
    Its so nice to die inside
    Because I get to run to you...
    And when I feel like breaking down
    and my whole world falls apart,
    Thats when you take the time to dig me
    A safe place to lay down inside your heart...

    [I hear thunder in the distance,
    Lightning's striking out in pain...
    And baby as I stand in pieces,
    I swear I can smell the rain]

    So I'll run, run, run to you-
    So you can hold me, hold me now...
    Oh it's pourin', pourin', pourin'down
    I'm walkin' through the rain...
    I'm walkin' through the rain

    So hold me now...




    Submitted on 2004-10-14 21:31:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      that was really good...i actually cried. i like the part that said:

    "I hear thunder in the distance,
    Lightning's striking out in pain...
    And baby as I stand in pieces,
    I swear I can smell the rain"

    i know many people have already said this, but i think it would make a really good song. i especially like it because i can relate in a way...

    * nikkki *
    | Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      well it's nice to be predictable because I went back to check to see if you'd classified this as lyrics. The one place that it needs a bit of work is the last two lines of the second stanza. They are out of rhythm and a bit too long. did you really want your haven to be a grave? That's the imagery I got in those two lines. You do show a lot of talent for your age.
    jan
    | Posted on 2004-11-02 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very nice.

    Was this written as song lyrics?

    I think it is solid from begining to end. Good job on this one!
    | Posted on 2004-10-15 00:00:00 | by Cassius | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really cute! It maybe gets a little off topic in the second stanza.. but that's happeend to me alot so I cant really say that.
    this paragraph was my fav -
    [I hear thunder in the distance,
    Lightning's striking out in pain...
    And baby as I stand in pieces,
    I swear I can smell the rain]

    It brought awesome imagery and I could even smell the rain, sitting here for a moment, good job! Try to work on that paragraph maybe?!
    :D
    | Posted on 2004-10-14 00:00:00 | by Lova_Star | [ Reply to This ]
      Nicely written, however I think I would categorize this as "lyrics" This was excellent for 15. Terrific work and I look forward to reading more from you!
    | Posted on 2004-10-19 00:00:00 | by Kristina9178 | [ Reply to This ]
      im agreeing with the lyrical potential... its awesome!
    i love the first stanza... it was so me... it was so like i was the one saying that... i love walking in the rain... dancing in the rain... mascara running down my face (i notice it always rains when i wear mascara...maybe i should wear it more often LOL)
    ultimately... if you were to turn this into a song (which i REALLY think would be awesome...) then i would suggest

    [I hear thunder in the distance,
    Lightning's striking out in pain...
    And baby as I stand in pieces,
    I swear I can smell the rain]

    to be your chorus or refrain... it would work perfectly amazingly... this is completely gorgeous writing!
    | Posted on 2004-11-01 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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