Description: i'm feeling very random (as if you won't be able to tell that from this poem)... i did the best i could to make it connect, but i'm not sure i succeeded in that...i'm looking for a title and any critisism is very welcome
regrets of a bruised soul (rd) -------------------------------------------
Regrets…?
I have a few
The biggest one
Is you
Death in disguise:
Hair died black
Soulless blue eyes
Like bruises
Open wide…
Your words form a spell
Hypnotism
One round trip to hell
A first degree
Murderer
The killing spree
Of my dreams
Bartender
To emotions
Sex, drinks, drugs:
My devotions
Constant Masquerade
Love wrought in blood
Your soft razor blade
Kisses bestowed
Knife slices flesh
Your death is denied
Laughter at my
Unplanned suicide
Boys and girls step right up…
Be brainwashed by the lies
Enjoy our games of chance
And win your choice of prize…
this is great alex. i like how you wrote about the subject and related it to the carnival...or whatever...in the last stanzas. this is great, but i don't think that this is as strong as your other poems. ...what does (rd) mean in the title? well, good work alex.
Perfect, almost. Its simple to see it is a truly deep and meaningful thing to you, ebven tho it is a "random thing" to you, but it shows your real feelings tho, whcih basically nails poetry in its best. Keeping it simple, and making your comparisons, although some quiet exhasuted got your point across well. Keep it up
wow...very powerful, I love the word usage, so simple but then so magnified by the meaning. It drew me in exremely well, very captivating and showed so much emotion.
Submission Name: regrets of a bruised soul (rd)
