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    dots Submission Name: regrets of a bruised soul (rd)dots

    Author: morte
    ASL Info:    17/female/earth
    Elite Ratio:    4.7 - 430/348/55
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 758
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 879

       i'm feeling very random (as if you won't be able to tell that from this poem)... i did the best i could to make it connect, but i'm not sure i succeeded in that...i'm looking for a title and any critisism is very welcome

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsregrets of a bruised soul (rd)dots

    I have a few
    The biggest one
    Is you

    Death in disguise:
    Hair died black
    Soulless blue eyes
    Like bruises

    Open wide…
    Your words form a spell
    One round trip to hell

    A first degree
    The killing spree
    Of my dreams

    To emotions
    Sex, drinks, drugs:
    My devotions

    Constant Masquerade
    Love wrought in blood
    Your soft razor blade
    Kisses bestowed

    Knife slices flesh
    Your death is denied
    Laughter at my
    Unplanned suicide

    Boys and girls step right up…
    Be brainwashed by the lies
    Enjoy our games of chance
    And win your choice of prize…

    Or loose your soul

    Submitted on 2004-10-16 20:58:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this is great alex. i like how you wrote about the subject and related it to the carnival...or whatever...in the last stanzas. this is great, but i don't think that this is as strong as your other poems. ...what does (rd) mean in the title?
    well, good work alex.
    | Posted on 2005-03-31 00:00:00 | by Podenco del infierno | [ Reply to This ]
      Perfect, almost. Its simple to see it is a truly deep and meaningful thing to you, ebven tho it is a "random thing" to you, but it shows your real feelings tho, whcih basically nails poetry in its best. Keeping it simple, and making your comparisons, although some quiet exhasuted got your point across well. Keep it up
    | Posted on 2004-10-16 00:00:00 | by Josh | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...very powerful, I love the word usage, so simple but then so magnified by the meaning. It drew me in exremely well, very captivating and showed so much emotion.
    | Posted on 2004-10-16 00:00:00 | by Uruvasule | [ Reply to This ]

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