Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: regrets of a bruised soul (rd)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: morte
    ASL Info:    17/female/earth
    Elite Ratio:    4.7 - 430/348/55
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 758
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 879



    Description:
       i'm feeling very random (as if you won't be able to tell that from this poem)... i did the best i could to make it connect, but i'm not sure i succeeded in that...i'm looking for a title and any critisism is very welcome


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsregrets of a bruised soul (rd)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Regrets…?
    I have a few
    The biggest one
    Is you

    Death in disguise:
    Hair died black
    Soulless blue eyes
    Like bruises

    Open wide…
    Your words form a spell
    Hypnotism
    One round trip to hell

    A first degree
    Murderer
    The killing spree
    Of my dreams

    Bartender
    To emotions
    Sex, drinks, drugs:
    My devotions

    Constant Masquerade
    Love wrought in blood
    Your soft razor blade
    Kisses bestowed

    Knife slices flesh
    Your death is denied
    Laughter at my
    Unplanned suicide

    Boys and girls step right up…
    Be brainwashed by the lies
    Enjoy our games of chance
    And win your choice of prize…

    Or loose your soul




    Submitted on 2004-10-16 20:58:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is great alex. i like how you wrote about the subject and related it to the carnival...or whatever...in the last stanzas. this is great, but i don't think that this is as strong as your other poems. ...what does (rd) mean in the title?
    well, good work alex.
    | Posted on 2005-03-31 00:00:00 | by Podenco del infierno | [ Reply to This ]
      Perfect, almost. Its simple to see it is a truly deep and meaningful thing to you, ebven tho it is a "random thing" to you, but it shows your real feelings tho, whcih basically nails poetry in its best. Keeping it simple, and making your comparisons, although some quiet exhasuted got your point across well. Keep it up
    | Posted on 2004-10-16 00:00:00 | by Josh | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...very powerful, I love the word usage, so simple but then so magnified by the meaning. It drew me in exremely well, very captivating and showed so much emotion.
    | Posted on 2004-10-16 00:00:00 | by Uruvasule | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    28329

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Where? written by ParanoidParadox
    Carry written by saartha
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Records I written by Raphael
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Love written by saartha
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry