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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Footstepsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Josh
    ASL Info:    17/nh
    Elite Ratio:    5.61 - 276/226/30
    Words: 258
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 379
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1523



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFootstepsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Describing an ocean breeze
    on a weathered face is pointless
    for the words are stolen from the mouth as quickly
    as they come, in the heavy salt air.

    You may sit for hours, cross legged
    eyes closed and mind open.
    And see more than time itself.

    You may sit on the edge of a new land,
    a new territory uncharted in human history.
    When your eyes open,
    people may stare in disbelief, at ones ability to transcend,
    if only for a precious moment.

    One may not know what it is like to stop,
    and meet the man one truly wishes to know.
    not so deep inside.

    The ebb and flow of indifference washes over,
    but to be the rock is to be heavenly.

    I am reminded of myself as i walk.
    each step i take, i do slowy and purposely.
    Each grain of sand that presses up
    between my toes, give a soft and comforting feeling in times like these.

    In others, it is an annoyance, a hamper in my ability to be happy.
    In each and every grain lies a world of pain and suffering.
    How easily they drop away, at one moment of anti-gravity.

    Levetate yourself, and your mind.
    Release the bands of false truths, and shake hands with the other you wish to truly know.
    Lead yourself in a path of purpose, and take my hand and keep me company in my own.

    Come with me, and leave your footsteps
    next to mine.




    Submitted on 2004-10-16 21:32:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      To be one with your mind. Obviously you seem to be there, or damn near it. I really love this poem because of the mesage it conveys.

    Describing an ocean breeze
    on a weathered face is pointless
    for the words are stolen from the mouth as quickly
    as they come, in the heavy salt air.

    The first part hooked me, pulled my mind to the moment so quickly. I am kind of speechless at the moment. When I find the words I'll get back to you.
    | Posted on 2004-10-16 00:00:00 | by impassive sky | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a very good write, your words showed this idea very clearly and the flow was wonderful...this work really shows off yoru talent as a writer and the way that nothing gets lost between your mind and writing the words down...the only helpful suggestion(s) i have is i would consider breaking up some of the lines in the last half of the second stanza differently, but it's not a must do...great job
    | Posted on 2004-10-17 00:00:00 | by morte | [ Reply to This ]
      this is very beautiful. the first lines pulled me right in and kept me going 'til the end. you notice everything in your world, don't you? the beauty, the pain, everything. that is a gift. most people miss so much. and sharing it with another person is joyous. gorgeous poem!
    | Posted on 2004-10-23 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]



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