Her Love -------------------------------------------
Her love is better than love,
it's like gold--
her joy is like love,
a neverending sunray--
her smile is like gold,
her sunshine dress is like gold,
her hair --- so beautiful,
long and lovely,
her hair --- like gold--
her hair --- gold
It was sweet but the word 'gold' was repeated to much. Its a little gooey, like you could't think of what to say and let someone else fill in the blanks. I'd like to see it revised though.
precious.I like the repetition, if you'd used the word gold once more it might have become tedious-but you didint and the result is short and sweet.Quite decadent infact.Wouldn't mind having a poem like this written bout me.All I get is crummy references to the doors that arent really about me.grr.
'decadent' means totally rich,luxurious, pure over-indulgence.that was the feeling that came from the use of the word gold, and the way you described the girl's hair in this poem,I liked it cause I have blonde hair!
Submission Name: Her Love
