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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Her Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: max
    ASL Info:    27 m tennessee
    Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 152/191/55
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 972
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 306



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHer Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Her love is better than love,
    it's like gold--
    her joy is like love,
    a neverending sunray--
    her smile is like gold,
    her sunshine dress is like gold,
    her hair --- so beautiful,
    long and lovely,
    her hair --- like gold--
    her hair --- gold




    Submitted on 2004-10-16 21:33:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It was sweet but the word 'gold' was repeated to much. Its a little gooey, like you could't think of what to say and let someone else fill in the blanks. I'd like to see it revised though.
    | Posted on 2004-10-16 00:00:00 | by impassive sky | [ Reply to This ]
      precious.I like the repetition, if you'd used the word gold once more it might have become tedious-but you didint and the result is short and sweet.Quite decadent infact.Wouldn't mind having a poem like this written bout me.All I get is crummy references to the doors that arent really about me.grr.
    | Posted on 2004-10-17 00:00:00 | by weepingwillow | [ Reply to This ]
      'decadent' means totally rich,luxurious, pure over-indulgence.that was the feeling that came from the use of the word gold, and the way you described the girl's hair in this poem,I liked it cause I have blonde hair!
    | Posted on 2004-10-19 00:00:00 | by weepingwillow | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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