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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lonely Worlddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: camoflage
    ASL Info:    16/f/nc
    Elite Ratio:    4.51 - 459/295/71
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 941
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 958



    Description:
       right, um u kinda...do you get wut I'm sayin'?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLonely Worlddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Here's the story of a girl
    Livin' in a lonely world
    A hidden Smile
    a friendly touch
    he lights up her world just too much.
    His playful smile
    makes everything worthwhile
    This girl
    she's stuck in a lonely world.
    She put herself there
    although she may be unaware...
    Slowly her friends pullin' her out,
    what happens when he looses interest
    which he will without a doubt.
    Will she be pulled back into that lonely world
    will she play the role
    of that sad little girl?
    Will she smile knowing
    everything will crumble
    will she stand strong
    or will she stumble?
    Will she hold on with all her might
    or will she give up the fight?
    That's the story of a girl
    Livin' in a lonely world
    A hidden smile
    a friendly touch
    he lights up her world just enough.




    Submitted on 2004-10-17 17:32:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      very beautiful write
    i felt genuine emotion in this write
    is that lonely girl you
    if it is know your spreading so much love in your poems that there is no need to be lonely
    Be positive
    you have a gift in writing
    Keep writing
    it heals

    Take Care
    Ron

    i am truly humbled by you adding tears may fall to your favorites

    thank you

    Please keep in touch
    your friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-10-16 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I actually enjoyed this, I thought it was pretty well written. Although you had a few typos and when you want to be serious about what you are writing you should always use proper writing (such as writing the word *what* vs. *wut*)
    This may work a little better if you turned it into stanzas, but it was pretty nifty.
    -Caribou-
    | Posted on 2005-06-04 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]
      Well I stumbled, but just a little bit and otherwise I thought it was a thoughtful and touching piece. You obviously felt the passion of the poem and it showed.
    | Posted on 2004-10-17 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]


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    28421

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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