Uninterrupted long conversations
that last all night.
Quiet laughter. Giggles.
Dreams shared. Hearts bared.
More tomorrows than yesterdays.
to play it’s role.
we becomes distant
In an instant.
| I like this poem, the themes lovely. However the layout of the first and second verses don't really match but that's a minor detail.|
|| Posted on 2006-06-10 00:00:00 | by Sagirlie | [ Reply to This ] || This is very good. My only suggestions are not to leave "of" on it's own line... it's not importatn enough, and to change "dreams" to Secters in line 8 since you used it in your opening line.|
This kinda hit close to home since I have a good friend from childhood that this describes very well.
|| Posted on 2004-10-17 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ] || oops secter should read "secrets" for the change in line 8... Now I just have to make the comment long enough to post, the comment police are out in force...lol||| Posted on 2004-10-17 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ] || aww...I really really like this. This hits close to home for me as well. And it was worded nicely. I like the uneven flow, it works. Good Job. ||| Posted on 2004-10-17 00:00:00 | by Amberdy | [ Reply to This ] || I liked it, yet I was afraid of it, for I am only 17 and in my Senior year of high school. I love all of my friends, and I know that we will drift apart. As of now the say we'll always stay in touch, but I know the truth. I liked this because it is real. It is not the same old thing of we grew up together and we are still together. This is reality. And that is what I liked the most.||| Posted on 2004-10-20 00:00:00 | by Celina Chiscolm | [ Reply to This ] || its w0onderful how u put up the reality abt the childhood friendship in such simple and few words...i m really thankfull to u that u made me realize abt my oldest friends n ya i'll take care 2 get in touch with them once again and relive those moments...thanks once again.your poem is really good...plain n simple yet so much meaningful n beauty of it lies in the message that it conveys.||| Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by aditya | [ Reply to This ] || you like to write with the beat and fast rhymes. you do this well. I do think lines 5-7 and 9 could be given the same beat rhyming and it would be pretty cool.|
i like the subject matter - it is so true how childhood friendships just evaporate. it's kind of sad. i think of my 5 year old and his best firend. they are inseparable, but when they are in college, they probably won't even know each other...
|| Posted on 2004-10-22 00:00:00 | by jdinning67 | [ Reply to This ] |