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childhood friends

Author: mimi
ASL Info:    30/f/ny
Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 597 /390 /111
Words: 55
Class/Type: Poetry /Friendship
Total Views: 947
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 481


childhood friends

Childhood dreams
bridesmaid dresses,
children’s messes.
Uninterrupted long conversations
that last all night.
Quiet laughter. Giggles.
Dreams shared. Hearts bared.
More tomorrows than yesterdays.

Time comes
to play it’s role.
Without control,
Dreams fade.
Reality invades.
We drift.
We shift.
we becomes distant
In an instant.

Submitted on 2004-10-17 22:46:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I like this poem, the themes lovely. However the layout of the first and second verses don't really match but that's a minor detail.
Great poem
| Posted on 2006-06-10 00:00:00 | by Sagirlie | [ Reply to This ]
  This is very good. My only suggestions are not to leave "of" on it's own line... it's not importatn enough, and to change "dreams" to Secters in line 8 since you used it in your opening line.
This kinda hit close to home since I have a good friend from childhood that this describes very well.
| Posted on 2004-10-17 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
  oops secter should read "secrets" for the change in line 8... Now I just have to make the comment long enough to post, the comment police are out in
| Posted on 2004-10-17 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
  aww...I really really like this. This hits close to home for me as well. And it was worded nicely. I like the uneven flow, it works. Good Job.
| Posted on 2004-10-17 00:00:00 | by Amberdy | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked it, yet I was afraid of it, for I am only 17 and in my Senior year of high school. I love all of my friends, and I know that we will drift apart. As of now the say we'll always stay in touch, but I know the truth. I liked this because it is real. It is not the same old thing of we grew up together and we are still together. This is reality. And that is what I liked the most.
| Posted on 2004-10-20 00:00:00 | by Celina Chiscolm | [ Reply to This ]
  its w0onderful how u put up the reality abt the childhood friendship in such simple and few words...i m really thankfull to u that u made me realize abt my oldest friends n ya i'll take care 2 get in touch with them once again and relive those moments...thanks once again.your poem is really good...plain n simple yet so much meaningful n beauty of it lies in the message that it conveys.
| Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by aditya | [ Reply to This ]
  you like to write with the beat and fast rhymes. you do this well. I do think lines 5-7 and 9 could be given the same beat rhyming and it would be pretty cool.

i like the subject matter - it is so true how childhood friendships just evaporate. it's kind of sad. i think of my 5 year old and his best firend. they are inseparable, but when they are in college, they probably won't even know each other...
| Posted on 2004-10-22 00:00:00 | by jdinning67 | [ Reply to This ]

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