Description: (to be continued)
does anyone hv any advice on this?
its a shame I cant get past the feeling I have for this person
if you met him you'd call me a mug..
on a whim -------------------------------------------
I wonder emphatically
and all of the time
which words we will choose
to describe our decline
if I see you tonight amidst hazy lighting
beer glasses
will you say 'its alright...'
and brush off my passes?
or will you let sweet liquor
advance through your limbs
I think you will
so go out on a whim
and then when its darker the street lamps aglow
like swirling water rushes
you'll deal me the blow
the inevitable sigh that drips from your mouth
except this time I'll meet it with a saturated kiss
immerse the wrong doings
in savoured bubbly laughter
This piece seems fairly more like lust than love. I've had those relationships they are benificial as well. I love the descrition here. hazy lighting,brush off my passes. I love this piece. in the third stanza consider dropping the and from the beggining of the first line. Thanks for all you help. Peace
Submission Name: on a whim
