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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: An Insomniac's Dreamdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 27
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 657
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 176



    Description:
       I actually dreamed I was sleeping the other night. It freaked me out. Ok, if this is dreadful, let me know.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAn Insomniac's Dreamdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm so tired
    that when I close my eyes,
    I'll sleep in my dreams
    with such intensity
    that no one would dare wake me
    in either world.




    Submitted on 2004-10-18 09:10:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      thats really interesting...dreaming about sleeping...i like thew added that you'd sleep so intensely that no one would wake you in your dream or in reality...thats great...though the second line...hmmn...why does it seem weird maybe the tense?...im not sure just that line to the next seems weird...but i loved the subject matter ...insomnia sucks...smiles purps
    | Posted on 2004-10-18 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece is so precise. It's like every word had a purpose. There is no excess, no fluff. I liked that. I found this to be more of a statement than a poem. You capture a state being as opposed to creating an image. It' s different, but in a good way.
    | Posted on 2004-10-18 00:00:00 | by Memphis | [ Reply to This ]
      It certinally captures how I feel daily. "That if I ever close my eyes
    I'll sleep in my dreams"
    Amazing image by the way.
    | Posted on 2004-10-18 00:00:00 | by harley3k | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah sounds alot better cuddles...but shouldn't you have an I in there...lol...i think...?...but besides that it rocks...later purps
    | Posted on 2004-10-18 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      interesting. I never dreamed of sleeping. maybe cause not such an insomaniac I used to be (I can sleep good lately).
    can it be that you changed it a bit? cause I read it before (before I went eating) and I have the feeling it's shorter, more precise. anyway I like the ending very much. it's powerful. well done.
    | Posted on 2004-10-18 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      This one is not dreadful but it is shocking. Shocking is the fact that in this few lines you managed to say so much.
    Keep on writing, you obviously have much to say.
    | Posted on 2004-10-18 00:00:00 | by Poly Jean | [ Reply to This ]
      This doesn't suck! It's good. In a simple kind of way. :) I wanted more though. Although that is freaky, sleeping in your dream. I liked how you added 'With such intensity', that gives the reader a sense of how much sleep you needed. :) Anyway, this doesn't suck but I think it needs more.
    -blt
    | Posted on 2004-10-18 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      I've never read such a short poem so many times one after another. I don't know what stirred you to come up with it. It's quirky and funny and you are a poet.
    | Posted on 2004-10-18 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this. It says a lot on how the mind works in fact. YOu probably don't sleep because you worry too much then worry about not sleeping and worry some more. Then daydream about sleeping and when you sleep dream about sleeping and dreaming and then don't rest. Then worry about your dreaming, sleeping, not sleeping, sanity, aaagh. Vicious cycle. Try praying and Bible reading, the devil'll rock you to sleep in no time.
    | Posted on 2004-10-19 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      it is good...it really is. i like how your poems are short. it really lets the reader know how much sleep you need. i really like the last 2 lines.
    i liked this peice a lot.
    | Posted on 2004-10-19 00:00:00 | by _Joeysgirl_ | [ Reply to This ]
      This is such a statement of utter fatigue. well put from someone who seems rather sleep-deprived. Even the Sandman would tiptoe.
    | Posted on 2004-10-20 00:00:00 | by jdinning67 | [ Reply to This ]
      Would you dream whilst you sleep in your dream? Ha ha, very surreal. Have you changed this since posting it? Because I feel there's a problem with tense between the second line and the rest. You start off in the present tense - "I'm so tired/That when I close my eyes" and then you move into future tense - "I [will] sleep in my dreams..." If you changed "I'll" to "I", then that fixes the discrepancy in tense. As I've come to know from you, Amy, succinct and explosively interesting.
    | Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by boompatah | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so strange... dreaming of sleeping I know I daydream of sleeping... I often battle with the idea of which world is real... no matter how hard you try not to... nothing stops you from falling asleep and no matter how hard you try to stay in dreamworld - you gradually wake up - so when do you know you are really awake or asleep??? Both could be realities. I love your poem! Magical.
    | Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      "you've been talking in your sleep/sleeping in your dreams/with some sweet lover..." oops, Crystal Gayle! the sleeping in your dreams part's what got me going on that! it would be freaky to dream you're sleeping. fact is, i'm sure i've done it, being an insomniac myself... quirky write, cuddle!
    | Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]


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