Star Bright -------------------------------------------
You
Angel fallen, your
Wollen but rugged
Skin pores
Exhale tired songs
And hiding your poisoned lungs
Your breasts, those swinging little whores
Bounce and bounce, and where you belong
Is on the tv screen
But it seems
That your cradle of sex
Demon-bitching under the latex
Is about to fall apart
Squeeking like a tart
You'll know the pleasure
Of destruction
Hey there. Well, this is very different from anything I've read in a long time. Which is in itself, a very good thing. I'm not usually very fond of topics pertaining to sex in a darker way. But this piece is just close enough to the edge to be really good, but not so far overboard that it lacks taste. This piece makes me think of sexual impurity for some reason. In reading this, the idea of a woman that allows herself to be used comes to mind. It also makes me think of "dirty sex", you know, the kind of sex that's rough and quick, but full of intense passion and energy. The kind that you feel dirty about afterwards.
Anyhoo...nice write here. Nothing I would suggest changing. Much love to ya.
"You Angel fallen" again a nice way to start the poem. I like the imagery in this piece. "and where you belong Is on the tv screen" it seems to me you admire this person almost but then the ending is such a surprise. Interesting look at thinks not so often mentioned Rubi
hmm, this was a different reading piece. has a lot of emotions involved within... and imagery, weird how sex can be viewed way to many different ways... but how true all those ways always seem to be. nice write
Submission Name: Star Bright
