Halloween Sluts! by marysunshine

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Submission Name: Halloween Sluts! dots

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Author:	marysunshine
ASL Info:	30, Female,
Elite Ratio:	4.48 - 610/705/75
Words:	152

Class/Type:	Poetry/Comedy
Total Views:	4712
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1031

Description:
Why does every women's Halloween costume have to be really slutty? I have one friend who is going as some naughty version of Red Riding Hood...another is dirty-devilgirl...another is vixen-nurse...I don't get it...why do normal women feel the need to get "dirty" on Halloween? I think I'm going as a pumpkin this year in protest.

This is just meant to be a little light-hearted humor for the day...a Halloween giggle. If I make you laugh, the poem is successful. And I'm not trying to offend anybody...I just think it's kind of odd that so many costumes these days are soooooooooooooo slutty! I'm not a prude, but Halloween has turned into "Girls Gone Wild" or something.

Halloween Sluts! dots

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God! The pukiocity!
Of odd behavior on Halloween.
Dresses packed like links of sausage.
Asses look like cheese of cottage
Hanging low beneath a skirt.
Such retarded tries to flirt.
Why must every costume be-
Something nasty and slu-tty?
Nurses, devils, ghouls with cuts,
All show bellies, boobs and butts.
Halloween must give a license,
For to dress with lack of guidance.
Jenny, Sarah, Brooke, and Kara
Must take notes from Aguilera!
Ladies, here’s the deal at hand…
Drunk dudes may not understand,
That you only dress this way,
For the fete on dead-folk’s day!
So before you pick your costumes,
Please make sure you’re not on mushrooms.
Choose a frock that shows some class.
Don’t go showing your bare ass.
And if you want to call me “prude”,
You might awake to some strange dude.
So wear those hot-pants, corset, bra…
Who am I? I aint your ma.

Submitted on 2004-10-19 11:34:03 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  So original! I was little red riding hood all grown up last year and i'm being pooh this year. I like taking classic innocent characters and giving them a twist and making them edgy. this was so funny though!
| Posted on 2005-05-05 00:00:00 | by Kitty | [ Reply to This ]
  How cute and thoroughly entertaining and insightful. Might I suggest, if you haven't already, that you read "Whores on Parade" by six_grey. Very similar in contents and also very fun.

I've been checking out a lot of your work and I'm really getting into it. I'm even rereading some of it and liking it more each time. I haven't been commenting on all of them but usually due to time constraints or just a lack of anything original to add, but it doesn't mean I don't love it.

I think I've read enough...have to save some for when I need a boost...
| Posted on 2004-11-22 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
  Funny, nice rythm and rhyming, and I found that this, sadly enough, is the truth. Sad, sad, sad. This, also, is going on my favorites.
| Posted on 2004-11-09 00:00:00 | by Siren Mengana | [ Reply to This ]
  Oh my holy jebus in a bus, that was funny!
I literally laughed out loud and then I died. Literally.
I kno your point- but I lyke the slutty outfits. But then- it’s a lyfestyle thing in the whole goth/raver world- I see it often. Shoot- that’s my grrrl! Lolfull!
Still, even if I don’t quite agree-gree, it made me laugh. You ever see Mean Girls? There is a little scene about slutty Halloween costumes in it.
“Nurses, devils, ghouls with cuts, All show bellies, boobs and butts.” Ha!
“Jenny, Sarah, Brooke, and Kara/ Must take notes from Aguilera!” I kno all of those grrrls! lolfull! For serious...
“So before you pick your costumes, Please make sure you’re not on mushrooms” Geeze- you are so fu<king clever- you rock!

Peace, love and undesired repartee- ~Six~
| Posted on 2005-03-05 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
  I thought this was funny... and I don't think you're a prude. But Halloween is JUST FOR FUN... unless you... or you... yea. I hate to see little girls trying to look slutty. On the other hand, when handled w/ responsibility, sexy is not slutty.
| Posted on 2004-10-19 00:00:00 | by Alize | [ Reply to This ]
  Ohhh, ladies, listen to Mary. If your as ses look like cheese of cottage, cover up and dim the wattage
of the lights on halloween
Things like that should not be seen!
Heya, Myx and I are running for something, not sure what, but please vote for us.
Dave
| Posted on 2004-10-19 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
  It's true, what you've said. I always appreciated (as a man) the beautiful ladies who dressed sexy but some of the others were bad. I liked the costumes, mushrooms line the best.
| Posted on 2004-10-19 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked the Aquilera line too, anyone who agrees with me on that woman's wardrobe travesties must be a sound woman indeed!

I know what you mean about Halloween. Last year I was the BadAssFairyGodMoFo...I'll post the pic in my journal closer to Halloween, but we went to our usual club and there were some girls... one of them was a french maid. (This girl ALWAYS looks like a slut anyway, though. In fact, she looks just like LaAquilera. In fact, her name actually IS Christina!) And she was wearing stockings and suspenders on her legs... I say "on" because there's no way they were UNDER her clothes! She'd this feather duster and made great shows of "dropping" something, and bending over just so to "polish" it.. Gah! She's ICKY!

Good words, good fun, thanks for sharing :)
| Posted on 2004-10-19 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
  First allow me to say HI, then Greatwork, then "What a pretty smile" to augment such a well written reason to disallow the entire holiday!
I believe we've never met( on the board ), yet still allow me to say I'll be looking for more of your good work. This was fantastic!
| Posted on 2004-10-19 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
  hey...hahaha...this is hilarious...i'm toatally agreeing with you on the subject matter...i don't understand it either...yeah alize halloween is just for fun...not boobs and asses...i dont wanna see it...lol...fun is letting little kids dress up...i let my daughter pick out my costume for me every year ...lets just say...its been interesting...purps
| Posted on 2004-10-20 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
  *giggles* Oh dear. This is hilarious. I totally agree with you. The good girls always seem to want to be bad on Halloween. Hahaha. I love it! Good job! *laughs*
| Posted on 2004-10-20 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
  i have to say that its was a great read and full of laughs. you are always good for a laugh and giving your strong opinins. but i love the way you give your opinions. great work i hope to read more soon lia
| Posted on 2004-10-20 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]
  This is cool...a light-hearted social look at the craziness. during halloween. I liked the pace of it ...it's fast and suits the quick jabs you take...maybe a bit of repetition in this and syntax problems that take a little away from the read...overall though it's another entertainer and puts a smile on the face and in the heart. Cool write
| Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
  wow oh my god! this is really funny and i so agree! halloween is made to be scarey not slutty. you got right to the point and made me laugh so i guess as you said you achieved your goal. great piece. i loved it!
| Posted on 2004-10-22 00:00:00 | by sweet-fire | [ Reply to This ]
  lmfao @ the cottage cheese ass! girl I must say this is by far one of the truest writes. lol although I will say my costume is on the slutty side! lol
| Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
  This was great, but it didn't bear out my hunch. Ah well, just the same the imagery was so - just hard. Cottage cheese? Damn man, I was thinkin of these nice college halloween sluts, and then I had to see them five years from now after working jobs that don't require movement...hard times.
shard
| Posted on 2004-10-26 00:00:00 | by particularshard | [ Reply to This ]

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