That’s what I like to call her, “Ice”. Why call her that? I think it’s because she reminds of the ice (which I love, by the way), she is deep, cold, and pretends to be strong while she is actually so fragile! Who is she? Does it really matter! I don’t think identities are important at this point. She may turn out to be an illusion for all I care. In a matter of fact, sometimes I’m not sure whether she is real or not!
Do I love her? I don’t know…I don’t think so…Do I care for her? I’m not sure…maybe…I guess I’ll never find out.
Why her? Maybe it’s her innocent smile that surprises me that innocence still exist in some of this world’s humans, maybe it’s her childish frown that –by trying to look mad or upset- failed, by only making her look even cuter!, maybe it’s the way she laughs which proves that purity –somehow- managed to survive inside her, maybe it’s her tears that she –always- makes sure that nobody could notices, but then again she couldn’t know that someone was watching, maybe it’s her eyes, every time our eyes meet, that vague look, eyes that is full of questions but don’t dare to ask them, eyes full of fear and innocence, fear of the unknown, the uncertainty, maybe I’m just exaggerating, or maybe it’s because I’m delusional…I don’t know…and I don’t think I want to know.
I was watching her (I always does), and why shouldn’t I? I’m a watcher, I watch everybody…but she was different –somehow-, how do I know? I simply don’t…I just felt it…I watch what she does; how she reacts…what will she do if she finds out that I’m watching? I don’t know…maybe she already know…maybe everything or maybe nothing because she maybe just an illusion…
Is she real? Is she an illusion? Everything is possible…even I may turn out to be an illusion!
I got a wound in my soul called ICE; she didn’t inflict that wound to me because she is simply that wound! That kind of wounds that never heals since I won’t let it, I just can’t. It’s like I’m being sadistic by enjoying that wound in my soul…a wound that will neither heal nor kill me but keep hurting nonetheless…
Am I being romantic? Am I being silly? Or am I just stating the facts? A lot of questions asked, a lot of questions unanswered…and I don’t think I want to answer any of them…maybe that’s the beauty of it, never knowing for certain what is what or who is who. Maybe I’m not in love with her, then again maybe I’m and just don’t know it…either way I know one thing for sure; that I’m addicted to her, and I think I’ll always be…
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The question of is she real or not, shall not be answered. Maybe it’s the kind of questions that has no answer, or maybe it’s because the question itself is an illusion!
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Submission Name: Ice: Addicted
