Description: I wrote this piece for the love of my life. Everything is pretty much cut and dry in this piece. I don't usually write like this because I figure I wrote enough of them when I was a teenager but I guess I was wrong. Check it out and tell me what you think. I promise I won't get mad if I get bad reviews.
my love -------------------------------------------
Eyes closed
As we kiss
Visions of us
Flash across
the darkened insides
of my eyelids
The day we met
A field at night
Sitting in the open trunk
of my car
Watching the fireworks
or
Giving you the car keys at IHOP
Telling you
to go start the car
Our waitress had gone home
I had no one to yell at
so we left.
You saved my life
I would be dead or in rehab
if it wasn't for you.
If I didn't dream you into existance
you must be an angel.
What other explaination can there be?
My heart stops
when you leave the room
The only thing that starts it again
is knowing that you'll come back.
Wow...this was a beautifully written declaration of love and i don't think that many teenagers could make it sound so good withougt sounding corny...you did a really good job on this and even though its not the kind of poems i usually enjoy i did think this one was good...the flow is very smooth and my favorite lines are: Visions of us Flash across the darkened insides of my eyelids I can really invision the first stanza...great job, sorry i don't have any helpful suggestions
Submission Name: my love
