Description: tell me what you think, thanks for just taking the time to read.
To Be Perfect -------------------------------------------
I know what you want.
A beautiful partner
A loving girl friend.
Someone who does not judge
Someone to hold you tight.
The type of chick who listens
The type to understand.
While I might not meet all of them
I try my hardest.
Loving you when you let me
Judging not the way you act
Listening contently
Wishing I could understand.
Still you love me
For the attempts that I make
Loving me for me
Putting up with my bad habits
And all of my awkward needs.
Of singing when you’re silent
Painting my nails black
Laughing when you’re mad
Yet
Crying when you’re sad
Giving kisses every day
And wishing that you will always stay.
We're two different people
Who seem to get along.
Always finding ways to get through
To be the perfect couple
Trying to keep this love anew.
this was a very pretty poem...i wish my girlfriend was half as well-spoken as you haha :P I dont know that you need it but if you want i have some spelling corrections for you...
Listening continently continently=contently
Giving kiss’s every day kiss's=kisses
Were two different people were=we're
Who seem to get a long. a long=along
Always finding ways to get threw threw=through
i always feel like spelling is the dumbest thing i could possibly commentt on but i also thing its even worse for me to say stupid stuff like "nice work" which is becoming all too typical of me... well, the piece was better than most on this site and i enjoyed reading it so thats cool :p -drizzt
I enjoyed reading this to be honest. At first I jumped to the conclusion that the girl was trying to get the guy but the girl was not good enough for the guy. But then I read on and realized it had a much better ending than that. Which I thought went well. I liked it alot. Good job.
*lol* I agree with Drizzt-spelling is one of the stupidest things to comment on, yet one of the things that you need the most to make a poem work. This piece is wonderful-it's well written, especially since most people go through something like this without ever realizing that they've got the perfect way to vent without even thinking about it. You sound like you have a wonderful person there-someone who accepts you for who you are and not for who they want you to become. Keep up your writing, I want to read more! -Archadya
The expectation that is presented in the beginning of the poem sets a good 'prologue' so to speak fo rthe rest of the poem - very nicely done - only thing i didn't like was the word 'chick' - because I usually find that that word is used in vulgar expressions so i never liked it at all. But otherwise - Great Poem!
This feels like what I'm going through, except we just started going out last week...anyway, this is great...the idea, the message, it shows you've been trying, and I think that's all you can do...as for your poem, My favorite part was: Still you love me for the attempts I make loving me for me ... Painting my nails black Laughing when you're mad yet crying when you're sad ... we're two diffrent people who seem to get along Always finding ways to get through to be the perfect couple... I think you could drop the last line, I mean I get what you're trying to say, and it fits with the peice, but I think that If you drop the last line, It would give it more of a final touch, by ending it with pretty much the title...but that's just me. P.S. I hope u don't mind me adding this to my favs. list! Camoflage
Submission Name: To Be Perfect
