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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Feardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 33
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 598
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 198



    Description:
       This is a very old poem that I found in my stash. You know I wrote it a long time ago because it rhymes.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFeardots
    -------------------------------------------


    Words so dear
    you will not hear.
    Songs of love
    I will not sing to you.
    For my dear,
    you are not here,
    and needing you
    is all I fear.





    Submitted on 2004-03-07 23:20:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It's clearly older work, but I like it. aabc pattern, which is enough, but not too much, even coming from the queen of minimalistic free-verse! Slightly... I'm copying, but bittersweet is a good word. "needing you is all I fear." Ouch. Nice work. I like it. <><
    | Posted on 2004-03-23 00:00:00 | by WorththeWait | [ Reply to This ]
      I should have read your description first lol... was thinking no way this is Cuds... this piece rhymes lmao... this appears to be more novice than your recent writes, and to me, this is only a guess, but I get a feeling this is something you wrote while learning and practicing, if you will, how to write short pieces with loads of meaning in them? good one for pulling up and looking back at how far you have come... keep it up
    | Posted on 2004-03-08 00:00:00 | by Crash | [ Reply to This ]
      it seems a little bit forced but I love the last 2 lines. touching cause I can relate to it.
    | Posted on 2004-03-08 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      Not half as good as your recent work (in my humble opinion), but with good points. "Sonmgs of love I will not sing to you" is fabulous. I can totally see that, in a scared way as well as in a way of feeling intimate and not wanting to share that, or maybe controlling someone through withheld emotions. "Needing you is all I fear" is heartbreakingly honest. The fact that dear was used twice in such a short piece throws me off, and the rhyme doesn't feel natural. Anyway, my lowly thoughts. Keep up your good work, cuddle.

    ~ Niphredil
    | Posted on 2004-03-08 00:00:00 | by Niphredil | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah i hear ya..loving can be bittersweet..for one to know d sweet one shud taste d bitter..and dissoundslike a lot of ur words have devoured from the bitter plattter..great..
    | Posted on 2004-03-07 00:00:00 | by Krucible | [ Reply to This ]


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