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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Gravity Welldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 580
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 761



    Description:
       I guess you can account this piece as the result of watching and reading alot of scifi and my overactive imagination. This was written as it flowed, I am not changing anything about it for anyone!!!!! This is what it is! Comments are welcome though I wanna know what thoughts spark from reading this piece.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGravity Welldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Youíre my black hole
    Been caught in the gravity well
    All along


    Circling around
    Trying to escape
    As you pull me in


    No light escapes
    My S.O.S transmissions
    Became static


    Not enough fuel
    To break free
    Itís time to shut the engines down


    Youíve always been my black hole
    Your mystery
    My sirens song


    Itís time
    Full forward thrust
    The hulls buckling


    Youíve always been my black hole
    My sirens song
    But I cant think of a better way to go baby
    You know Ive loved you all along




    Submitted on 2004-10-20 12:06:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Another well done reflection with a twist!

    very cool spin...I didn't see it as sci-fi as much as it was your hurting view, through sci-fi eyes..

    Love your writes John, always clear, in my mind
    anyway...
    This one is depressing but this time you made it better at the end instead of vise-versa, by telling us it was ok to fall away because you'll go being blessed by her to begin with.

    Yeppers...another awsome write my dear!
    kelly
    | Posted on 2004-10-20 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      heck i wouldn't of asked ya to change a thing anyways...i think its perfect...no exaggeration...its really good...and the format is very fitting...i'm really liking the third stanza...nothing more to say then wonderful job...purps
    | Posted on 2004-10-20 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is freakin great
    wow way to go
    why do all of yours poems seem to relate back to love
    possibly i read them that way becuase i want to
    this really is great
    i feel like everyone has people who are their black holes like a person you just cant shake
    this really cool (ive said that how many times)
    its just so different from your other stuff
    i feel like maybe your turning a new way changing into an even better writter by using intersting way to show the emotions youve always shown
    <3
    | Posted on 2004-10-20 00:00:00 | by scorpio sphinx | [ Reply to This ]
      Loved it. Never really seen sci fi fused to romance like this before. A really good way to describe falling completely into some body. Well done.
    HWKI
    | Posted on 2004-10-20 00:00:00 | by HWKI | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a supercool piece. Obviously I'm a total fan of the scifi imagery, but more than that, it's just plain good. My S.O.S. transmissions become static is an awesome phrase. I don't know how inherently poetical it is, but this is definitely one I could see being expanded and turned into a song. Perhaps even a TMBG song.
    | Posted on 2004-10-26 00:00:00 | by Ontlogicalamity | [ Reply to This ]
      Definitely different and in a good way. Felt like it could easily be turned in a song which is a great quality to have in a poem...the feeling comes across sincerely and I liked the honest humor and pace of those last lines. Uplifting to read
    | Posted on 2004-10-26 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


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