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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Beastdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: freak writer anna
    ASL Info:    17-F-india
    Elite Ratio:    4.07 - 59/70/19
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Misc/
    Total Views: 878
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 544



    Description:
       This is something i wrote after i had been feeling really sick (mentaly more then phisically!) for 2 days, i was in class (during an otherwise interesting class) and just couldnt concentrate or work on anything. Lets just say, this is sorta my............ first draft. wanna re-work it as soon as i get the time. but gonna put it up for now anyway.


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    dotsMy Beastdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The beast that once arose in me,
    Wept and screamed silently.
    It cut and tore and became wild,
    So I laid it down to sleep for a while.

    But that time of calm has come and gone,
    I hope to see one more peaceful dawn.
    Cause this beast of mine awoke in rage,
    And realized he was still in his cage.

    Now I can feel the beast inside
    It tries to get out of this body of mine.
    Why doesnít it see its killing me
    having to deal with this, I donít wanna be.




    Submitted on 2004-10-20 15:55:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Nice write! Cool title. Yep, everyones got an inner demon, and Jess is right about that once-a-month-monster that girls tend to turn into. The whole trick about controlling it is to not hold up all your feelings inside. If your pissed off at someone or something, you've got to let just a little bit of it out, otherwise it will build up more and more until you can't contain your rage. Not healthy at all. You could always invest in a punching bag and just unload on it every time something bad happens to you (that's what I do, it works for me). But maybe I'm just a guy. Anyways, so yeah, don't let all the crap of daily life get to you and then hold it up inside of you until you go crazy. You've got to deal with situations as they come, it's the only way to stay sane in this world. Just my two cents. Nice write, cheers!
    | Posted on 2005-01-14 00:00:00 | by Apocalyptica | [ Reply to This ]
      This is interesting. new outlook for me ;) good job. I like how you rymed, and it wasnt forced. A lot of poems are forced ryming. well if it is your first draft it is a damn good one. Good job.
    | Posted on 2004-10-20 00:00:00 | by Kera | [ Reply to This ]
      aww c'mon anna cheer up. i never thought you of all people could be depressed. but yeah you're human after all.

    this was a good poem notably because of the excellent rhyming and the metaphor about the beast. for a first draft this is very good, well i think you dont need to work a lot cuz this is almost perfect. on second thought, i dont think you have a lot to change, but yes i would love if you played around with the words, you know use contradicting words, just because i know you have it in you. but yes even without this is a really good write.

    back straight chin up!!

    cya around!!

    Zu
    | Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by Zu | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Anna!
    "The Beast Inside"?
    Is this describing anger inside, anger that needs to come out? We all have our demons I think and hateful thoughts sometimes and with us girls we can change into a beast once a month! lol Or it could be frustration? The wild beast in us that wants to break free from our restraints and just run free and wild? Keeping it locked up does not seem to be doing much good? Maybe understanding these natural feelings and learning to live with them. They say you have to accept your dark side and then you can deal with it, all about balance?
    | Posted on 2004-10-30 00:00:00 | by Jess | [ Reply to This ]


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