My angel in the darkness of my mind
Making all shadows around her flee
Without her everything is a disaster
The world is clearer when she is near
It's as if a haze is lifted from my eyes
But now she has ran away
Will she ever come back to comfort me again?
I do not know
But I will search for her the rest of my life
I will search until the day I die
| The emotions in this poem is really stellar. i like the way you're vying for her till the end..it's really nice...such a fresh change from other whiny poems...|
keep it up~!
|| Posted on 2008-02-04 00:00:00 | by EsCaPisT | [ Reply to This ] || This is beautiful, it is simply short yet doesn't feel incomplete to me. The feelings sounds true through the words.|
I hope you find her one day, but until then I think you should move on.
|| Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by Beast | [ Reply to This ] || This sounds very nice to me. Should go under linging in my opinion because thats what this piece is basically all about. The subject in it however, is very sad and if it is relating to you, I can say that I know exactly how you feel. There was one typo I spotted: "shaddows" should be "shadows" but apart from that one minor error, this is a good write.||| Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ] || The plot of this is piece show how you measure the quality of emotions into your message. Well written. The overview it contents, make even more understandable. I like it. Not every poem need ryhming, but yet it depends on poetical style in which the poem is written. Good one.||| Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by Njud_Gold | [ Reply to This ] |