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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Verbose Mountains of Sensedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 37
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 643
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 258



    Description:
       This is just how I feel about writing.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsVerbose Mountains of Sensedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Put your verbose mountains of sense
    through a sieve.
    The poem is what remains.
    Boil your epics,
    let the meaningless words evaporate
    until your work runs thick
    like maple syrup
    for density is the goal.




    Submitted on 2004-10-21 16:13:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love it. Density... that's what everyone is looking for in poetry these days. No one wants a blithe, carefree poem to read, they want hardcore facts and intense metaphors. You describe this well in your poem, and still manage to make it flow. Another excellent job.

    -emo.
    | Posted on 2004-10-22 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]
      You said it...sometimes I add a bunch of unimportant words when I feel insecure about it. But your sieve is a perfect image...the rich story strained till it is only the perfect and needed. I'm up late and being weird...sorry. I'll remember this when I write.
    | Posted on 2004-10-22 00:00:00 | by marysunshine | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, this is interesting. It's almost like an admission of cuddleness and how you write the way you do. You know what I mean... we have our ways of getting these things out. Like a recipe, add a pinch of comfort, a large dollop of ink mixed with strong coffe and emotion, stir thrice counterclockwise to the crowing of a black rooster at dawn...
    I know a man who'd call them spells.

    We spell... wordwitches! I liked this piece, like its message, it's succinct and to the point, but stil artful in its structure with well chosen words. Compacting, is what I always thought of... compact it with the ten good strong words that say it as well as forty, and it'll still be strong enough to stay standing after a hundred views. Nice work, Ames :)
    | Posted on 2004-10-23 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
      good description of what you understand as a poem. I like minimalism, too (you know that), but lately I tend to write short, long, " normal" poems, whatever. I got away from my ten lines but anyway I really like your beginning. great image.
    | Posted on 2004-10-24 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the idea of boiling away the unessential to get to the jewel buried away in the placenta trappings. it's what i think defines really amazing pieces - things that weigh on you and won't float away with a strong wind or distraction. if only people could keep this in mind when they wrote (heck with people, if only i could ) when you write like this - with truth and simplicity so beautiful - it's an anchor to hold onto here in this suddenly large and unfamilar place we call elite. (finally got around to looking what the hell everyone was talking about, elite politians and what not) excellent piece.

    ~Blue
    | Posted on 2004-10-28 00:00:00 | by blueorchids | [ Reply to This ]
      Cool beans. I am terrible at these minimalist pieces. You seem to have done quite well here cuddle!

    Love these lines:

    Put your verbose mountains of sense
    Through a sieve
    The poem is what remains

    What a clever way of putitng it:)

    Nicely done.
    | Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by Kristina9178 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is great! perfect explanation of why minimalism works! some people's verbosity just amazes me. they take ten stanzas to say what you can say in a few lines. brava!
    | Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      This is as good a poem about writing as I've seen. Great ideas and imagery. You brought it all together with precision...seems like you're on a poem writing poem writing roll. Goodstuff
    | Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      cool! that's exactly the thing! dense molasses. minimalism. but let the ism fall to the floor and you will be lighter on your toes and the better for it. i'm glad you wrote this.
    | Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by jdinning67 | [ Reply to This ]
      So, if if's and buts were candy and nuts, we might have a jolly good Christmas, but a pretty weak poem?
    I will at once plead guilty and agree with you.
    I know you like the short and sweet, and you are consistantly good at it. I don't mind the mid length poem, but not if it is built with three adjectives for every noun.
    Night,
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]


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