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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Oh Heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dandan
    ASL Info:    19/F/Florida
    Elite Ratio:    4.93 - 604/323/49
    Words: 265
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1521
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1774



    Description:
       Oh, but one cannot help but express the feelings of the heart...!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOh Heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Oh heart, how aches thee,
    How writhes thee in all thy sadness
    Within thy iv'ry cage!
    The corpse of thine existence
    Is the keeper not
    Of thy sole sanity and disillusionment-
    Love.

    Morose in its reasons, the heart cries
    The only lies of truth it dares to believe,
    And still denying all hope the crimson potion provides,
    It trembles with wrenching fear
    That clasps it in its grip.
    Sweet kisses of sorrow
    Seal that fate of mine -
    Somber in its own -
    They ensnare the object in its fragility,
    The heart, vitality of life,
    Within the confines of desire.

    Grievous thing thou art, oh heart!
    A piteous slave to thine own longings,
    Creator of thine own insecurities and blindness.
    Nothing can be done
    To rid thee of thy mis'ry.
    Awake, oh heart, dear dreadful heart, and appease thy weary master;
    Make light this heavy load!

    Ceasing not to falter, flail -
    It fights against its stronghold;
    Against its will it is
    Weak with anguish,
    Immersed in fiery fury and bitter melancholic passion.
    Forgetting always that life is yet to live
    And that deception lies not only in death,
    The heart, a foolish creature of nature,
    Lingers in its rejection;
    Anticipation mounts, and still
    The heart sinks back into its resting place.

    Cannot the heart thrive
    While it dies to itself?
    Cannot it move on
    Despite the struggles?

    Take heed, oh heart!
    Thy painful pining will fade with time,
    And, as does the sun,
    Love will arise again another morn.




    Submitted on 2004-10-21 20:06:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow. Where do I start? Truly wonderous. I was captured by it while reading it. The first time, the second, and the third.
    You're my hero :D
    Seriously though, I only wish that I could write as well as that.
    | Posted on 2006-08-18 00:00:00 | by apassionatemoo | [ Reply to This ]
      (Grins widely and somewhat evilly)

    Willy? Is that you?

    Excellent word choice, fantastic meter, and the faux-symmetry (in verse length) just blew me away! On a more critical note, you seriously overused the word "heart," and I think you could have had more interesting capitalization.

    All together, shining merit.

    Your personal Stalker,

    Bridge
    | Posted on 2005-09-26 00:00:00 | by O_Mal_Caor | [ Reply to This ]
      I see your skills have blossomed so much since the last time I have read your poetry. Bravo. I believed this poem hit some neccesary factors. Giving the personification to the heart gave the reader a bit of tail to follow while your similes and metaphors truly brought out a the great writer in you. I also love the use of old english. Beautiful write and I am happy you shared it with all of us
    | Posted on 2005-05-29 00:00:00 | by Nashataku | [ Reply to This ]
      VERY lovely. described the heart in such depth. first time i read something of yours but i love the format of your writing. old style. loved it. words gave out alot of emotions. the way you arrnaged your words. i can feel how you would say every phrase. very unique. loved it.

    -soomie
    | Posted on 2005-06-11 00:00:00 | by poeticblindness | [ Reply to This ]
      this is absolutely beautiful..

    Awake, oh heart, dear dreadful heart, and appease thy weary master;

    i just don't know what to say... it touched me... the only thing i can suggest is to break this awake line up.. it's a little long... but you know, it's my favorite line, so i don't think it makes much of a difference... it's not very often you get to read an old style poem that's done well.. thank you.
    | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by besodemuerte | [ Reply to This ]
      Awake, oh heart, dear dreadful heart, and appease thy weary master
    that was the most beautiful part of the whole thing. dont get me wrong the whole poem was great but i loved those words best. you are oh so very tallented and i wish i could write like you. great work keep them comeing
    lili
    | Posted on 2004-10-26 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh love, is it not a splendidy awful thing? That which has the power to destroy the heaven's above with but one blow, or purify the hearts of a thousand demons smitten by it? Its a powerful emotion that you captured well. I also liked how you gave it the feel of the Renaissance, an almost Shakespearian feel to it indeed. -Kenji
    | Posted on 2004-10-26 00:00:00 | by Kenji Light | [ Reply to This ]
      Dandan... I oficially hate you. No... not really. But your making all of us look bad. Stop it! When you write freaking awesome like this, how can we hope to compete? I feel so inferior...

    Anyway, seriously, this is beautiful. This is by far one of (if not the) best poems I have ever read on here. Just the feel of it was amazing, very Shakespearean and flowing. The words you chosed were, well... eloquent. Beautiful even. This is what you've been doing while I've been gone? Keep it up!
    | Posted on 2004-11-27 00:00:00 | by ACircuitShock | [ Reply to This ]
      Grievous thing thou art, oh heart!
    A piteous slave to thine own longings,
    Creator of thine own insecurities and blindness.

    These lines right here could speak to anyone that's ever been in love. I think everyone feels like this when falling for someone. I mean...you make up these things that you don't think they'd like about you that you never noticed before. Good job conveying that message.
    | Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
      this is simply a beautiful description of the heart... i love the "old world" sound of it. i normally have a hard time with longer poems, but this one caught my attention. very well written and poignant.
    | Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      BEAUTIFUL! I love how you used old english in it. Great work. i really hate to hit that favorits key, but you give me no choice with how great the poem is. Keep up the great work.

    Ja ne.
    Akai_Ame
    | Posted on 2004-10-21 00:00:00 | by Akai_Ame | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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