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    dots Submission Name: A Special Girldots

    Author: Star_searcher
    ASL Info:    17/F/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.25 - 114/109/20
    Words: 54
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 1281
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 362


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Special Girldots

    A special girl,
    A silent tear,
    Wish you could still be here.
    Please don't think I'm selfish,
    For wanting you to stay,
    You said goodbye to no-one,
    As you quietly passed away.
    God took you in His arms,
    He knew you needed rest.
    His garden must be beautiful,
    For He only takes the best.

    Submitted on 2004-10-22 14:30:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is quite beautiful. It flows and reads so well. A sad and sentimental missing of a friend that you were unable to say goodbye to. I love the last two lines.
    You did well here. Nice work!

    | Posted on 2005-04-21 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it. I liked the tone of the piece. Expand on it. Give more. Always give. Not to say hand it to your reader on a platter. It was good.
    | Posted on 2005-04-15 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]
      This was beautiful. It's very, VERY difficult to take the subject of death and shine an uplifting light upon it and that's exactly what you've sucessfully acheived within this piece. It's going in my favorites for sure...
    | Posted on 2004-12-18 00:00:00 | by gavinspikenard | [ Reply to This ]
      Me again! Well, I like this as well. Especially "His garden must be beautiful,
    For He only takes the best." Very very very good. The only part I think you could look over is the first three lines. The are kind of off set. Maybe make the first and second lines one line. It's rythm is different from the rest. Maybe that's what you were trying to do, ????? I dunno. Well, excellent! BRAVO!
    | Posted on 2004-11-24 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      Nothing is worse then not saying that final good-bye. I know, been there done that and am now trying to live with it. This was a short write but it was filled with much emotion. Brownsdelight
    | Posted on 2004-10-22 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      The rhyme and flow of this piece adds to its beauty. What a beautiful message relayed. I feel so fortunate I haven't experienced any personal loss, but it are poems like these that help people accept life and move on with theirs. Great job.
    | Posted on 2004-10-22 00:00:00 | by kissingadict | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this poem, i found it really moving , it almost makes me cry, and i like that bc there aren't many thing out there anymore that i can just read and then feel like crying. Your poem was wonderful, keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-10-22 00:00:00 | by xPoetxBoyx | [ Reply to This ]
      Aww... this reminds me of when my grandfather died not that long ago, it was just like that. This was good, and you managed to say everything in a short write. Good job.
    - Delirium
    | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Delirium | [ Reply to This ]
      well i have to say that i agree with you.
    His garden must be beautiful,
    For He only takes the best.
    this is an excelent piece and it is going to my favs. great work i will try and read more soon lia
    | Posted on 2004-11-01 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]

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