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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Counting down from 1983dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 595
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 664



    Description:
       I really don't know why Ive been writing the things that have been pouring out of me but I have been....So say whatever you think about this. Im off to see what other genious has been produced on the site today.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCounting down from 1983dots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I leave here
    Iíll be a million miles and counting


    Ive been perfecting the mix
    2 parts rocket fuel, 3part bitterness
    1 part lonliness, and 1 part dispair.


    Ive looked for a reason to stay
    Pretended there was one all along
    but Iíve outgrown this place called home


    The count down started in 1983.
    The wheathers perfect.


    Climb into my suit
    10
    9
    8
    7
    6
    5
    4
    3
    2
    1

    Iíve got enough velocity to escape.




    Submitted on 2004-10-22 16:17:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Gotta say I loved this. Very original. And being born in 1983 myself (August 24, a date which will not live in infamy) I have to say it provided a kind of nostalgia. Good write.
    HWKI
    | Posted on 2004-11-04 00:00:00 | by HWKI | [ Reply to This ]
      that was quite interesting, actually. i like the way you presented it visually. trying to escape, are you? geez, from 1983 is a long time to be unhappy with life. i'm sorry if that is really true. oh, and wheather should be "weather." nice job!
    | Posted on 2004-10-22 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Well this is unique. dont think I've ever read anything like this. I know that on this site you may get a heap of dong for it. but hey at least it's an original right?
    | Posted on 2004-10-22 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      well that is definately original - unhappiness is really something - especially when carried on for many years- the writing style is definately unique - i applaud the effort
    | Posted on 2004-10-22 00:00:00 | by nicegurlintx | [ Reply to This ]
      your weird
    im not so sure i like this one too much
    but i dont dislike it either
    you are no good at taking a break from writting <3
    the part about parts, you need to decide if its "two part" or "two parts" one of those doesnt agree
    its interesting though
    | Posted on 2004-10-22 00:00:00 | by scorpio sphinx | [ Reply to This ]
      this is diffrent good diffrent not bad diffrent...its a little vague emotion wise but thats ok...leaves room to ponder...the structure is cool...1983...i'm guessing the year you were born...and to me your saying your counting down your unhappiness until you die...hmmn...i'm guessing...you seem a little lost lately...in your life...its ok we all get those times in our life...a few mispelled words...but yeah can be fixed...i liked this purily for the unique value...i think a few of the lines could be tweeked a little to make the write a little more complete...but besides that i enjoyed it...smiles purps
    | Posted on 2004-10-23 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      finally something different. the structure is great. fits to the poem very well. especially the countdown.
    you were a bit vague. I suppose 1983 was the year you were born and the countdown is the countdown to your death. correct me if I'm wrong.
    really good poem. the only little mistake I can find is that it's despair and not dispair.
    | Posted on 2004-10-23 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is relatively unique, but I get a strange sense of deja vu when I read it. Maybe because my friends were listening to Blink 182's song 1985 in the car the other day, and observed the trend in writing songs about the birthyears. (My friends have sucky music taste.) Anyway, it's a pleasant read, and it moves quickly which is nice.
    | Posted on 2004-10-26 00:00:00 | by Ontlogicalamity | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh sorry, that was 1985 by Bowling For Soup. (it still sucks) [this has been a correction to my last comment so this is filler]
    | Posted on 2004-10-26 00:00:00 | by Ontlogicalamity | [ Reply to This ]


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