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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Let It Enddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: kjb
    ASL Info:    23/male/NY
    Elite Ratio:    3.35 - 256/351/64
    Words: 204
    Class/Type: Prose/Love
    Total Views: 896
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1221



    Description:
       this isn't exactly an event that happened to me but take it in a broader view and it makes sense.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLet It Enddots
    -------------------------------------------


    So where was all the blood?
    it use to be all over the floor
    It was a crazy night
    And there like always was no moonlight
    Yet we sat there and paced every
    Once in awhile
    Shouting and screaming
    Nothing more then anything important
    The shouts echo through my mind
    like there is nothing in my head
    To drown out the noise
    Just like thereís nothing to drown out the pain
    So as we lay here broken and sorry
    And asking ourselves
    What is the meaning of this?
    We like always decide that it must mean that we
    Got to give up and move on
    Why? I may ask does our pain always result in more pain
    Canít it ever go uphill
    But the hill is so icy now
    That every step I make just makes me slip further
    Thereís never a bottom that what hurts the most
    I rather fall flat on my face then keep falling
    Thereís no end
    But there was a beginning
    Everything needs to end
    But it never does
    Itís the knot that will never be untied
    We use to whisper sweet nothings
    And now we scream sour everythings
    Let it end
    Just let it end




    Submitted on 2004-10-23 21:40:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Two people in a relationship that should end, but not willing to give up. They keep fighting, and it only leads to more fights which lead to more pain, yet they won't give up.
    | Posted on 2004-12-18 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked ur poem, awww makez u kinda sad, lik i kno itz hard telllin a loved one, that itz da end. Itz Over. I kno how hard it iz to do that. I really lik the way u had the verses rhyme, then u kinda changed it to lik a person confrontin each otha. Dat waz ill, we coo.
    | Posted on 2004-10-23 00:00:00 | by Fantasy_LilIvy | [ Reply to This ]
      i did like the writing a lot though parts i didnt like but i am not really sure why i didnt luike them. though other e then that i enjoyed it and hope to read more from you. keep it up

    SeaN
    | Posted on 2004-10-23 00:00:00 | by Sean | [ Reply to This ]
      I think that you message is hindered by all the extra words. I felt as if i was tripping over htem trying to cross a room. I think that this piece has potetial. You could make these lines so much stronger by eliminating a few words from many of the lines. I would also reconsider the line break up if only for this program.
    peace
    | Posted on 2004-10-23 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. This flowed very easy. Now I'M intimidated. *shakes* ;o) I like this a lot. It's how I feel sometimes, you should know after our talk last night. This is awesome STP, I'm serious. I like this one a lot.
    | Posted on 2004-10-23 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]


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