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Walking swift, standing tall You’re a gift from god, so beautiful Cant you see were meant to be You and me, can’t you see? Can’t stress this anymore As you make me feel, so free… Important and real to the core With your nature and sheer beauty Can I ask you one question? Please say you will, as Into effect you’ll bring My love’s happiness fill See when I’m down and annoyed, Upset and left to regret One look into your eyes Picks me up, as your full on deadset You were designed for me my dove Like wise as I, for your heart Best be careful you might fall in love That’s ok, as I think I did from the start Back to my question, that is at hand An answer from your lips, to my ears Will you be mine and mine exclusively? I’ll offer friendship and love, yet never tears |
i just love how there is so much love towards this person. you write with good form and i like it very much** look for more to read by you soon**| Posted on 2004-12-13 00:00:00 | by _winky_ | [ Reply to This ] | Your stuff is going to end up running together if you keep writing on the same topic... readers want variety... and as writers. we have a responsibility to feed it to them... would like to see more diverse styles from you... keep it up you have the talent | | Posted on 2004-03-09 00:00:00 | by Crash | [ Reply to This ] | that was supposed to be "show" the reader how strongly you "feel" sorry my typos are horrendous | ![]() | Posted on 2004-03-08 00:00:00 | by love gone wrong | [ Reply to This ] | i think the thought is nice, but.....your rythmn was off almost the whole piece, you need to [pay attention to your syllables, help the flow a bit. also, try to use some imagery, "show" the reader how strongly you will. dont just tell them. it has potential, just needs some brushing up. | | Posted on 2004-03-08 00:00:00 | by love gone wrong | [ Reply to This ] | This very pleasant and nice, but I wish you'd write something that's not about love. It just makes a writer seem one-dimensional when he writes about only one thing in one style. Sorry, that's just my opinion. | | Posted on 2004-03-08 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ] | |