I'm feeling your style. I love poems that I have to read three or four times to understand. I think that you wrote it as you felt it and I do that a lot to. Like my friend always tells me, sometimes I'm just to deep for some to understand.
I liked this, the meaning was kind of obscure and I had to read over it a few times before figuring it out. I think I understand it, just that the world is run by people who put reason in front of something that comes natural, but through poetry we are able to escapre the 'average persons' life? I dont know. Would you mind telling me what it meant? good work though I liked it -Andrya
The two parts are like differant poems, the first part feels a bit forced while the second part feels truly original and great. I'd delete the first part and let those few words of the second part have the entire spotlight. You've twisted words in a unique way and they sit just right in your head and out loud... Beautiful...
Writers block ehh? You emerged with a strong theme and it works. I would omit the word "like" before nomadic dogs, it doesn't need to be there, I think , either for flow or clarity. I try to avoid "like" in metaphor anytime I can. Also, "modern society" expresses the idea just right but its crammed with regard to rhythm, "The modern world our words they drown" is an idea. But those are pretty minute details, hope you don't mind my saying.I'd say that changes like these would be in the fourth or fifth editing, so you take what you like.It's a good write. nansofast