I Love... by sweet-fire

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Submission Name: I Love... dots

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Author:	sweet-fire
ASL Info:	21/f/ky
Elite Ratio:	3.8 - 296/279/42
Words:	91

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	334
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	581

Description:
obviously this is about the love of my life...its corny and not the best but it had kinda of a jumpy ring to it that makes you want to sing it so i thought id post it...hope you like it.

I Love... dots

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I love the we,
the us,
the two.

I love when everyone asks about you.

I love the words,
the cares,
the looks.

I love our fairy tale like right out of a book.

I love the kisses,
the hugs,
th smiles.

I love when i see you for a long while.

I love the feeling,
the touch,
the beauty.

I love the way you make love to me.

I love the we,
the us,
the two.

I love everything about you.

Submitted on 2004-10-25 09:39:33 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I get the opening stanza, i think it works...if people don't get it then i don't think it's the problem of the poem.

I think the line about the fairy tale book needs re-working...the message is good it just flows a little awkwardly.

this is one of your older poems so maybe you don't care about it anymore, but i think with a little revision it could be something special.

good luck, jay
| Posted on 2006-02-07 00:00:00 | by Senna27NZ | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey I really like this poem because it rminds me of me and my boyfriend. keep up the great work. I know what it's like to be in love. It's great to have the feelings of love and the other one beside you after making love to them. Whatever inspired you to wrtie this don't let it go.
manda_bear
| Posted on 2005-01-20 00:00:00 | by manda_bear | [ Reply to This ]
  I'm a bit confused with the meaning of the verse below:

I love the we,
the us,
the two.

Could you please explain the meaning to me?

Baafuo
| Posted on 2004-11-22 00:00:00 | by Nightrider | [ Reply to This ]
  awww..so sweet..huh? WHAT AM I SAYING?!

haha...im in spanish rite now..only FBLA left so im in PC's class...see you next class:)

->Dark
| Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by drk_angl_17 | [ Reply to This ]
  well what can I say, I loe this, so sweet and many a man would love to be thought of in this light, nicely done, have an awesome day...Bob:)
| Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by poetryman | [ Reply to This ]
  It is really sweet of you to writte about love and fary tales, but it takes a big twist when you mention making love. The subject becomes a bit more grown up. But hey the rythm is really good. Keep it up.
| Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Lana | [ Reply to This ]
  good job love the poem! i just wish that my love life could be described in such way! good work! hope to see more from you!
| Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by codysangel | [ Reply to This ]
  Your poem is very sweet. The flow was very tender to read. Not really much to say, but take care and have a good day. A very good write, in my opinion...
| Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Vibrant | [ Reply to This ]
  I feel the same way about my boyfriend. Even though I spend every minute talking about him I dont feel as though I get enough airtime(lol)
| Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by devonbracy | [ Reply to This ]

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