[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Toy's in The Atticdots

    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Serious
    Total Views: 563
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 440

       I don't know this is just another thing that expelled itself from my subconscious....You would think being the author of the piece I would have some idea why I wrote it, but alas I am as in the dark as any who read this piece.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsToy's in The Atticdots

    I kept my toys in the attic
    In the chest labeled
    eternal youth

    Just beside
    All the pictures
    I tried to forget
    Of lovers gone
    my carefree years

    Now its time
    for a yard sale
    Iíve decided I need
    to grow up

    No more adventures
    with Mr. Pan
    the pictures
    are next to go

    Submitted on 2004-10-25 09:54:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Im sry, I didnt really like this poem, it was really hard to flow with, needs a little work on that...the Idea was awsome though...keep the ideas coming, js work on the way you portray and write it...

    | Posted on 2004-11-07 00:00:00 | by Wicked_Sins | [ Reply to This ]
      It isn't aqctually that bad. It says a bit of what they mean to you. But you wopuld probably need to work more on describing what you did whith them what they represent more deatailed. As for the photos tell us what you see so we can relate. Other wise it is a really good idea.
    | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Lana | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah you can throw away all that stuff, but it will always be within you, my toys are still in the attic and the attic is my mind, don't be in such a hurry to grow up, stay youthful and enjoy life, tomorrow is promised to no one, I liked this...Bob:)
    | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by poetryman | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem reminds me of me...i'm only 17 though. i have almost every single one of my stuffed animals and all of my toys from my youth! for some reason when i try to get rid of them something keeps me from doing it. I hold on to them because it reminds me of when my mom was still alive...and how much fun i always had with her! as for the pictures...i have lots of pictures of me and my past loves...it helps keep my memory alive and makes me realize how much better my life is getting! the poem was awesome though! keep up the good work! hope to see more from u
    | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by codysangel | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the pictorial flow and because it is about, in a way, discarding youth I liked the style.

    Love, Peace, Joy!!!
    | Posted on 2004-10-25 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm reading a grammar book right now-it's called "Eats, Shoots and Leaves." It's a great book. I particularly like the beginning, where it states this: "For any true stickler, you see, the sight of the plural word 'Book's' (or in this case, toy's) with an apostrophe in it will trigger a ghastly private emotional process similar to the stages of bereavement, though greatly accelerated. First there is shock. Within seconds, shock gives way to disbelief, disbelief to pain, and pain to anger. Finally (and this is where the analogy breaks down), anger gives way to a righteous urge to perpetrate an act of criminal damage with the aid of a permanent marker." Sorry for the lengthy explanation, but it's something that absolutely IRKS me when I see it.

    As for the poem, all in all good. You could expand SO MUCH MORE, but for a basic straightlaced poem it's good. Don't ever let go of your childhood-there's no way to get it back. Even I know that, and I'm only 18. All in all, good job. -Archadya
    | Posted on 2004-10-26 00:00:00 | by Darc Archadya | [ Reply to This ]
      This is my favorite of the most recent 5. It touches a nerve with me, and for some reason I can't help but think of LEGOs. I also think it might possibly maybe embody a turning over of new leaves for you? Myeh, who knows. Nice work though.
    | Posted on 2004-10-26 00:00:00 | by Ontlogicalamity | [ Reply to This ]
      i think you can hold on TOO much but i don't think you should ever grow up or let go of the past, you have to live but what you are living for is to make more memories like the ones you hold on to.
    | Posted on 2004-10-27 00:00:00 | by joe quinn | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmn...i'm really liking the idea you've started here but i defently think you could do more...defently think this thought could be expanded on...it seems to me your talking of changing...getting rid of the old and welcoming the new...or i could be wrong ...lol...i'd really love to see you expand on your thoughts though...i think it turn out to be a wonderful memory provoking write...purps
    | Posted on 2004-10-27 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      AWWWWW...what an amazing way of letting go...of all John...youth and the past of loving truth that at some piont and time we all let slip away and not because we have to...but beacuse it's time.
    thank you...always love your thoughts
    | Posted on 2004-10-28 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Once Again written by krs3332003
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    AI written by poetotoe
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Bond written by saartha
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Fasade written by jackz
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]